Working Methods of Getting Child Custody From A Narcissist

Here are a few working Methods of Getting Child Custody from a Narcissist. Divorcing a narcissist can be challenging, especially when it comes to getting child custody. Thus this needs to be handled by being nimble-witted and an emotionally unattached individual. As narcissists lack empathy and every encounter with them can be draining.

Going through a divorce can be difficult as is, but it becomes even more difficult with the narcissist in the picture. Processing a custody battle and that too against a narcissist can be draining both emotionally and mentally. It can be a challenging situation too, as narcissists do not like to let their guard down or lose in any situation. Also, child custody battles are emotionally challenging and besides that, a narcissistic partner can really stir up the complete situation creating a chaotic situation.

When one of the parents is a narcissist, then this process becomes even more difficult and challenging as they struggle to understand the needs of their partner and children. Also, they can be manipulative as manipulation is among their top most toxic tactic. They would do anything to win and gain control and the upper hand in the situation if they really wish for so. Also co-parenting can be very tough to deal with when your co-partner is a narcissist.

Narcissists can be ruthless especially when it comes to winning against them. Narcissists may be more interested in winning the child custody case, more than actually caring for the child’s welfare. They just want to be proven and chosen as faultless and perfect parents in the eyes of the law. Thus they might be doing their best to win the child custody cases. Thus it becomes natural that when you are fighting against the narcissist lawfully, you feel overwhelmed, scared, and a little underconfident as narcissists are experts to make you feel inferior and unassured.

But this is not the time to feel underwhelmed, shake off your insecurities and doubts, and focus on winning the custody battle against the narcissist. Begin by taking a deep breath, build up your confidence, and be prepared. This custody battle can be won effortlessly just by preparing well for it. Be self-aware, be cautious, and be ahead of the plaintiff, stay headstrong on winning as a defendant, brainstorm, and research. The most important step here is seeking help from a professional lawyer who would be guiding you efficiently to win the child custody case against the narcissist.


This article is not intended to endorse any piece of advice or act against anyone specifically, as these undertakings should not be considered legal pieces of advice. Nor this article is endorsing any unlawful or unethical advice. Additionally, these are just general tips and suggestions that can serve the readers a better understanding of a narcissist’s psychology. As these tips might not be sufficient for you to win the case, so hiring a professional, i.e. an attorney would be helpful to the case. These undertakings are not supposed to be explicit.

Working Methods of Getting Child Custody From A Narcissist

The most important aspect is engaging a professional who can handle your case efficiently. These points may help you up to some extent, but the lawful angle that a professional lawyer or attorney might bring in can absolutely lead to winning the child custody battle against the narcissist. So refer to these points as they can motivate you emotionally and fight fearlessly against the narcissist in the battle of custody.

Take into consideration that you are dealing with a narcissist

The most important point to remember here is you are dealing with a narcissist, who might have some twisted ways when it comes to winning. So being well prepared is a must here. This also might not be or seem like a typical legal battle for custody, as the opponent here is cunning and shrewd. You might already be overwhelmed with the divorce situation at this point, but remember that whom you are dealing with like to seek vengeance, is manipulative and spiteful.

Narcissists always have to have control over everything due to their inflated egos. They lack an understanding of other people’s emotions due to their lack of empathy. So the divorce and the custody situation might make them feel threatened, forcing them to push your limits, also making the process harder than it already is. But do not get worried here, remember that you are free from them and that you no longer need to give in your control and power.

Be ready for anything

When you are dealing with a narcissist, be ready for the worst-case scenarios. Narcissists usually target your insecurities, and weaknesses and also comment on the grey areas of the relationship in court. They do this intentionally to make you lose your calm and control and react impulsively. Narcissists are sly and cunning and thus they can find there to manipulate and exploit people’s insecurities and twist the truth thus making the situation look like it lacks reality.

Besides this, narcissists have this godly image that they present to the people whom they meet for the first. People can be easily swayed by their charm, charisma, and the way they make the lies sound like truths. So if you wish to win the child custody battle against a narcissist, then work harder on providing pieces of evidence and tangible proof, because winning against a narcissist through a verbal argument is impossible. Thus plan out well and collect as much evidence as possible.

Also, their counter-arguments might make you irritated, frustrated and might also make you lose your calm, but remember that this is purely their strategic game to beat you at the custody battle.

Make a Note of everything that happens during and after the separation

Separation may seem hard even for the narcissist but just they would not be displaying that they are hrt very clearly. Instead, they might hurt you, harass you or even smear your reputation. So being attentive and making a note of all this might help you make your game stronger and might bring you closer to victory.

Start documenting everything that happens during and after separating from the narcissist. Make a note of how they behave with you, with your child, any instance of abuse or harmful behavior, and everything that you feel might serve you right in court. Try collecting as many testimonies as possible from the witnesses. Also, try to collect more tangible and presentable proof and do not resort to stories.

Present the scenarios with proof and you are good to go. Do not hesitate to present everything even though you might feel that it is too much, it is not. Present everything after discussing it with your lawyer or attorney. Select a law partner, as soon as you decide to divorce the narcissist and fight for the child custody battle.

You can choose your feasible method of collecting proof and saving it. You may store in a document format and print it later, or save it as a PDF(Portable Document Format) to present it as is in a digital file format. If you decide to keep every proof in a digital format then make sure you are keeping it in a password-protected file or folder on your phone or computer.

You can also choose to use binders in order to keep everything in one place and in a chronological sequence.

Whichever format you choose to collect and store proof, just make sure they do not even get the slightest hints about that as they might erase the pieces of evidence and try to prove you guilty for wrongly accusing them. It is important that the pieces of evidence reach the courtroom and also be discreet about this and hide it as much as possible from the narcissist.

Do not lose your calm

Narcissists always are ready to provoke a reaction out of you, so refusing to engage in an argument, especially in a courtroom can save you from getting emotional. This can be an effective way to avoid giving them attention. Not engaging in any kind of drama, heated arguments, or disagreements to just prove your truth may help you to maintain your cool.

Let your attorney handle the heated arguments as they are experts in the language of the law. Responding in a non-emotional, calm, and composed way can really beat their game. Showing them that their behavior is not going to affect you, may save you from all the drama and this might also provoke them into showing their true selves to the judges.

Before reacting to anything that a narcissist might accuse you of, take a deep breath and try to calm yourself down. This will give you time to think about how to respond and respond in the best possible way than reacting impulsively and adding more to the already what is going on regarding the custody.

Try to stay calm and rational as much as possible. Do not take the bait or get caught in a blame-shifting or victim-blaming game. Keep your emotions under control when dealing with a narcissist. It is important to remain calm and composed during the custody battle. The best way to maintain your calm is to let your lawyer handle the situation efficiently.

This becomes really difficult to maintain your cool, especially in matters which involve your child, but it is crucial. Just remember that you would start losing the battle the moment you lose your cool and get into an argument because the narcissist exactly wishes the same.

Stop or limit your communication with the narcissist

Avoid any sort of extra communication with the narcissist or avoid getting involved in topics of communication that are not related to your child. As narcissists can turn these communications into chances to torture you emotionally and make you weak and underconfident.

Narcissists might try to lure you into communication, and you might also get tempted to get into those conversations to seek closure but resist yourself from falling into the narcissist’s trap once again.

Consider a no-contact approach and ask them to maintain boundaries with you. Ask them not to contact you unless it is something urgent and related to the child.

Also, limit your access to their social circle and family members for the time being as narcissists can emotionally blackmail you through them. They can even use them as their flying monkeys who would try to convince otherwise and convince you to drop the idea of getting custody of your child.

Communicating with them may also be one of their hoovering tactics, which you may tend to avoid at all costs.

Use Witness Evidence

Did anyone notice you two fight? What about your child’s teacher, have they ever raised concerns about your ex-narcisistic partner’s behavior? Have your neighbors ever had an issue with the problematic behavior of your ex-narcissistic partner? Take note of all these people who might have complained about your ex-narcissistic partner and ask them to present themselves as testimonial pieces of evidence, as these have a greater impact to get the desired outcomes. Requesting these people can help you strengthen your case.

Ensure your Physical Safety

If you do not have a place to reside, take shelter in local domestic violence centers or shelters for homeless people for the time being. When you face the separation situation from the narcissist, then these places can help you to survive for the time being if you do not wish to burden any of your relatives. These places provide security, confidentiality, and protection along with food, shelter, and other valuable services.

Find the right lawyer

Hiring just the right type of person ensures your victory for your child’s custody. Finding someone who understands such personalities and those who have handled such cases previously. Hiring such a professional who understands the subtleties of narcissistic personalities becomes crucial. A lawyer who can bring out the shady and disguised personality of the narcissist is the right choice here.


Going through a divorce can be difficult as is, but it becomes even more difficult with the narcissist in the picture. Processing a custody battle and that too against a narcissist can be draining both emotionally and mentally. It can be a challenging situation too, as narcissists do not like to let their guard down or lose in any situation. Also, child custody battles are emotionally challenging and besides that, a narcissistic partner can really stir up the complete situation creating a chaotic situation.

But choosing the right attorney, keeping your cool, and using your wits can lead you to win the custody battle. Fighting against narcissists might drain your peace, and emotional stability, and even worsen your patience, but remember that you are doing this for your child, and this is the way to keep your child with you.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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