How To Play A Narcissist At Their Own Game?
How to play a Narcissist at their own Game? How would you defeat a Narcissist at their own Game? When you are fed up with someone’s constant games and gambits, then this is your safe space where you can find ways to beat them or play them at their manipulative games.
Suppose you have someone around you, who has been a constant demotivator, devaluer, toxic, abusive, and has a negative influence on your life, then in that case, it is a possibility that they may possess some narcissistic traits.
Trying to beat a narcissist at their own game would not be an easy path, as narcissists would be a step ahead of you once they figure out that you know about their toxic self. So you need to be cautious and aware of what you aim to do.
Also, remember one more thing, you may not want to plot a revenge scheme against them, but just give them a taste of their own medicine.
Remember your main motive is to gain your power back and not devalue them or try to seek revenge. This way you can have a balanced relationship in any form it may be, and you might not worry about all the toxicity seeping into your life through the narcissist anymore.
What is a Narcissist?
Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them. Narcissists thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is selfish and mean.
Narcissists have huge egos to satisfy and when someone hurts their ego, that someone is doomed. Narcissists seek revenge, or at least they would humiliate and devalue you for hurting their pride and ego.
Narcissists tend to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. They believe the world revolves around them and they are entitled to have whatever they desire.
How to play a Narcissist at their own Game?
The first step to beating someone at their game is to understand the pattern of their thoughts, their games, and the result that they are achieving. Once you start understanding their thought processes, patterns of abuse, and mindset, you can frame your tricks to beat them.
Remember this only you can take your power back from them. So strategize mindfully and carefully, as the one you are dealing with is a narcissist.
Here are some 5 tips to play the narcissist at their game,
1. Do not call them a narcissist on their face
Calling them a narcissist on their face can ignite their rage. They would rather create a more difficult abuse strategy once they know that you have figured them out. Once they know that you are aware of who they are, they may manifold their manipulative tactics, which may become a troublesome situation for you.
They are narcissists, and thus they can easily turn tables on you. they may gaslight you, call you names, deny your accusations, and also try to make things difficult for you. So if you wish to have a trouble-free atmosphere avoid calling them narcissists directly, instead you may indirectly mention how aware you are of their manipulative tactics.
Prove them that they are not the only smarty pants in the room, you are well aware of what they are doing, but you wish to have a peaceful relationship. Doing this would alarm them. They would mild down their manipulation as they fear being exposed and abandoned.
2. Do not react to their drama
Narcissists like to create unnecessary drama, and make their victims that they are the only ones and that they are irreplaceable, whenever you may have a troublesome situation with them. The narcissist may try to aggravate you with their brazen lies, but remember to not lose your cool.
Narcissists bait with lies and thus receive their narcissistic supply when their victims get worked up.
Riling up situations just to aggravate you is their power move just to get on your nerves. It is just a part of their toxic game, to get a reaction out of you as this provides them a narcissistic supply.
So what you can do is, you may not react to their jabs, treat them as if they do not matter that much in your life, and you can be happy without them too. Do not fall into their trick of baiting you and do not react to their drama. The narcissist may say evil things about you, to get your reaction, but keep your cool attitude and do not react as you know your true nature.
One important thing that can help you keep your cool is the manipulative and true nature of narcissists. They are simply trying to add insult to injury. Simply react surprised and tell them, “Wow! I was unaware of my traits, thank you for the acknowledgment.”
Look at them go restless when they do not get a reaction out of you.
3. Be aware and mindful of their true nature
When a narcissist fails at applying their tactics to you, they may resort to attacking your self-esteem and start to talk crap about you and to you. They would try to trap you in their abusive web of words that would be made up of lies. They may always target people who have low self-esteem, as they are easy targets.
But by just being mindful of their actions, their true nature, and their habits you can simply save yourself from the tonnes of trouble coming your way. Do not believe them because you know whatever they may be saying is untrue about yourself.
The best way to keep your resilience strong and going is to believe in yourself and not some fabricated facts about you. The truth would sooner or later float up, so just believe in yourself and strengthen your self-esteem.
Yes! It is difficult to maintain your cool in such riled-up situations. Ignoring their comments, criticisms, and reprovals would help you remain calm. You can also think of some comic incidents that may help you calm down at that particular time.
4. Ignore them
What a narcissist does is, in the initial phase of the relationship, they may shower you with flattery, love, validation, and attention. This is called love bombing. They may do this to later gain control when you get completely addicted to them.
They would shower with attention, adoration, and validation only to use it as a camouflaged act. They may withdraw all those good emotions and feelings from the relationship so that their victims may be codependent on them. They may get their victims addicted to their episodic good behavior and thus use it against them just to get things done, get approval, and ultimately get a narcissistic supply.
So what can you do in such situations?
Dealing with toxic narcissists can be difficult enough as is, so to maintain your composure you might just leave them at whatever they are saying and not respond while ignoring them, because if you start getting involved in the situation, you may have to face a lot more than it is.
Ignoring them would save you so much trauma where you would be safe from them draining you emotionally and mentally and also dealing with them becomes far more easy, when you just start feigning ignorance. Ignoring them would give you your power back, you would be able to do as you wish and also get the control back.
If your narcissistic partner is complaining about your cooking day and night, you might feel the urge to say something like “You cook for yourself” or “I am not cooking anymore for you” Just ignore their complaints and enjoy your meal by yourself in peace and just observe them lose their cool.
5. Be aware of their manipulative ways
The best way to dodge a ball is either by ducking or moving aside. In the same way, to avoid being in the narcissist’s mind games, and save yourself from their manipulation, you must be aware of their manipulative behavior.
People who are empathetic, naive, modest, virtuous, or have lower self-esteem are always targeted by narcissists.
So how would you acknowledge yourself of their manipulative behavior?
The best way to acknowledge yourself as the narcissist of your life is by knowing their behavioral traits and then narrowing down the possibilities of why they behave so. Studying the mannerisms of similar people, reading books, or simply discussing it with a mental health expert or a therapist.
Once you dig deeper, you may also come to know the reasons why they behave the way they do.
Once you make a firm decision and decide to protect your mental health, that is when you decide to defeat them at their own game. Employing these tactics mentioned above may help you protect yourself against the narcissist’s manipulative tactics, and regain control of your life.