Female Narcissist: 13 Distinctive Traits To Look For

You might have crossed paths with a female narcissist. Still, you might not have acknowledged the reality of them being a narcissist as narcissistic traits are displayed differently and with lesser severity in women. This makes it difficult to recognize them in an instant. This article discusses a few signs of a female narcissist with the help of 13 distinctive traits.

Narcissistic personality Disorder is a mental health disorder characterized by a boosted sense of self-importance, excessive need for validation, admiration, and attention, and a feeling of entitlement and superiority.

Narcissism is a mental health disorder that affects both men and women on an equal basis. It is always believed that mostly men are narcissistic, but the truth is men and women are equally affected, it is just that female narcissists are not discussed as widely as males, and this is the sole reason why female narcissists are not focused and highlighted more often.

Also, narcissism can affect women differently and their characteristics and traits may vary from men. Female narcissists may thus be less common than male narcissists.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

When you first meet the narcissists their irresistible charm and persona pull you in and lure you into their toxic world, only to realize that it was all temporary and their fake persona soon starts to wear off disappointing you. They tend to be defensive when criticized and hypersensitive when offended.

Narcissists are hostile and aggressive and they may be difficult to handle when you disappoint them.

According to diagnostics criteria, a narcissist can be characterized by five or more traits that are mentioned below,

  • Having a self-perception of being perfect, intelligent, superior, attractive, powerful, etc.
  • Need to constantly get attention from other people.
  • Obsession with fantasies like having unlimited success, the power that may daunting, fame, unsurpassed intelligence (the cerebral narcissist), unavoidable charm, and beauty (the somatic narcissist), incomparable sexual performance (sexual narcissist), or everlasting attractiveness.
  • To achieve personal gains and growth, exploit others.
  • Being jealous and having a perception that others might be equally jealous of them.
  • Having a sense of entitlement and expectations of being treated as someone superior or greater than others.
  • Self-perception of being grandiose, unique, high-status, and superior to others.
  • Unwillingness to have empathy and sympathy for others, their wishes, feelings, and emotions.
  • Requires excessive adoration, attention, and validation in the affirmations.
  • Lacks Empathy.
  • Arrogance

Female Narcissist: 13 Distinctive Traits To Look For

Narcissism can affect women differently and their characteristics and traits may vary from men. Female narcissists may thus be less common than male narcissists. Female narcissists differ from male narcissists as they are more empathetic, less impulsive, more aggressive, and less entitled than their male counterparts.

Here are 13 distinctive traits of a female narcissist,

1. Inability to see the bigger picture

Female narcissists tend to be affected by trivial and insignificant matters. She may often get stuck on how she was wronged by people even if the matter may be petty. Even if the matter is solved they still may hold grudges.

For instance, a female narcissist may be unable to let go of the smallest of criticism or minor setbacks and may also seek revenge. This inability to let go may make them seem jealous, bitter, and petty to others, and thus it increases their inability to see the bigger picture.

2. Addiction to social media

Narcissists are self-absorbed and thus they may engage in activities that may help them gain attention and status. Narcissistic women tend to be more absorbed in such activities as engaging and interacting with people socially, being activated on social media, posting extravagant pictures, making others jealous through their posts, and securing maximum likes and comments from their followers.

Some female narcissists may even get addicted to social media and may be stuck in the loop of virtual reality for the rest of their lives.

3. Preoccupancy with their physical appearance

Narcissists in general, like to leave an impression on people for being perfect, well-groomed, and extraordinary. They like to leave a long-lasting impression and thus impress others with their physical appearance.

However, according to some research, female narcissists tend to be more occupied with the ideas of their physical attractiveness, looks, personality, and charming impressions. They try to lure in their victims merely by their looks. They are obsessed with the idea of maintaining a perfect weight, attractiveness, and appearance and for that, they can indulge themselves in procedures of cosmetic surgeries, transplants, and dieting and develop an unhealthy obsession regarding their appearance.

4. Being reactive and sensitive

Female narcissists tend to be affected more by feelings, emotions, and connections when compared with their counterparts. Their ability to connect emotionally with others is more as compared to male narcissists and thus they are more reactive and sensitive than them.

They may easily get hurt, offended, and feel hurt by other people’s actions, and this makes them more emotional, moody, and poignant.

5. Seeming shy, insecure or reserved

Narcissistic females, especially the ones suffering from covert narcissism, tend to be more shy, reserved, and insecure. Their insecurities do not allow them to open up and interact with others.

Female covert narcissists differ from the customary character of narcissists, and thus they may not seem rude, entitled, or have a grandiose image. They often present themselves as shy, reserved, and insecure as they have low self-esteem and even lower self-confidence.

6. Playing the victim

Being helpless and playing the victim is a primary tactic used by female narcissists to lure in people to fulfill their desires. They may play the victim card, once their job is done or when people deny to do things for them. This way they control others. They may do this because of social pressure or gender role expectations.

7. Being the “Mean Girl”

Female narcissists can be extreme bullies, even though may not look like one. They do not show any signs of physical aggression, hostility, or assault, which does not make them more vulnerable or less dangerous.

They may use different tools to express their hostility which can include, smear campaigns, gossiping, gaslighting, spreading rumors, calling names, giving a cold shoulder, silent treatment, or verbal abuse.

8. Being unsteady in relationships, work or family

The overall functioning and ability to maintain a balance in life depends on the level of narcissism of a person. How deeply they are affected matters majorly. Female narcissists who are severely affected by narcissistic personality disorder may have unsteady work-life and relationship balance. They may be unable to have steady jobs or fail to commit to relationships or maintain familial relationships.

9. Passive aggression

According to research on differences between male and female narcissists, it is found that female narcissists are comparatively less physically aggressive than males, but they tend to be more passive-aggressive. A female narcissist may use tactics like guilt-tripping, employing silent treatments, or going behind someone’s back when they may be hurt.

10. Being self-centered or self-absorbed

Being selfish and self-centered puts a stamp of authentication on narcissists, both male and female. Both may have conversations that are driven by their life, and their achievements and focused on them and only them. Conversations may seem one-sided when talking with a narcissist.

Female narcissists may not take an interest in other people’s affairs and intervene when others talk. They may hardly show any interest and quickly turn conversations back to themselves.

11. Never admitting fault

A hallmark trait of narcissists is that they may never accept their fault, or apologize. Instead, they may find ways to transfer the blame and make others the victims of their wrongdoings. Thus a narcissistic woman may blame others and make excuses to deflect the blame.

12. Obsession with social status

Narcissists are often dependent and live to maintain their social persona. They are shallow and have superficial relationships and connections. They are obsessed with materialistic possessions and they may do anything to obtain them.

They would choose to give up relationships if they can get what they desire which may include procuring wealth, luxury, and something that may associate them with social status. They may choose materialistic wealth, reputation, social media presence, appearance, or fame rather than maintaining healthy bonds.

13. Being manipulative

Manipulation is the core trait of a narcissistic personality disorder, and narcissists tend to be manipulative with their loved ones.

Narcissists often exploit others to have personal gains. Thus they may reach out to people who can fulfill their interests by acting and doing as per the narcissist’s wishes and desires. Both men and women have different ways of exploiting others.

Narcissistic males may imply force, physical aggression or intimidate their victims, while female narcissists may not resort to anything related to physical aggression. They may manipulate your emotions and may have passive-aggressive ways to fulfill their wishes.

Differences between male and female narcissists

According to studies and research, the approximate percentage of male narcissists is 75% and female narcissists are 25%. These number is obtained by taking samples of people who have been clinically diagnosed, yet the number can vary as many people may possess narcissistic tendencies and yet not fit the criteria for diagnosis.

There may not be many exact answers that may serve as differences in the manifestation of narcissism do not depend on any specific gender. The key differences may include,

A female narcissist may,

  • The severity of narcissistic traits may be lesser
  • She may have less physical aggression
  • It is extremely challenging to spot a female narcissist
  • She may have more empathy as compared to male narcissists
  • She can be more empathetic, emotionally invested, and sensitive than her male counterpart

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Woman?

Dealing with a Narcissistic woman is difficult, stressful, and challenging. If you have a narcissistic woman in your life, there are a few methods you can utilize to deal with and cope with them to protect your mental health from the toxic and abusive atmosphere,

  • Limiting your interactions with the female narcissist to avoid getting targeted by them.
  • Avoid being fooled by their tactics of gaslighting, love-bombing, etc.
  • Keep your calm while dealing with a female narcissist.
  • Do not get into a competitive argument with her.
  • Try to find solutions that are win-win solutions, for both you and her.
  • Avoid criticizing her, threatening her, and challenging her.
  • Give her the required attention, adoration, and validation.
  • Learn her patterns of abuse and be aware of them.

In Conclusion

Though narcissistic traits and characteristics may remain common for both male and female narcissists, the female narcissist may differ as she is more empathetic, less impulsive, more passive-aggressive, and less entitled than her male counterparts.

Dealing with a Narcissistic woman is difficult, stressful, and challenging. Narcissism can affect women differently and their characteristics and traits may vary from men. Female narcissists may thus be less common than male narcissists.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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