5+ Ways To Talk To A Narcissist and Take Your Power Back? (Working Ways)

In this article, we will relieve the worries and stress of all the narcissistic abuse victims who are struggling to get control of their lives back along with power. Let us know some of the Ways To Talk To A Narcissist and Take Your Power Back.

Imagine dealing with a narcissist, and also imagine how difficult it is to let go of your power, your individual identity, and your wishes. For those individuals who already know how difficult it is to deal with a narcissist and those individuals who are worried and confused as to how to communicate with a narcissist without giving in much and making sure your voice is heard, this article is all about knowing some “Ways To Talk To A Narcissist and Take Your Power Back”, so reading further might clear out the hazy thoughts that might be running unframed through your mind.

Let us give those thoughts a proper structure by knowing some effective ways to talk(deal) with a narcissist and also gain your control back from them.

Ways to Talk to a Narcissist and take your Power Back

Dealing with a narcissist is without a doubt one of the not-so-easy tasks to perform because it is totally unpredictable how potential they are to either change topics or totally predict different meanings to your statements. The personality disorder also makes it difficult for them to empathize with others, especially those around them. They may constantly be seeking admiration, validation, control, and attention.

So when they do not get what they require, they tend to be manipulative and make those around them feel insignificant. Thus people around them generally start to lose their confidence, self-esteem, power, and authority. Narcissists can be unpredictable, manipulative, abusive, authoritative, and controlling, but there are a few ways to communicate with them and also take your power and authority in the relationship back. Here below presented are some of the tried and tested approaches or ways by experts to talk with narcissists without swaying or giving in and also gain your power back.

1. Making goal-oriented conversations with the narcissist

Starting a goal-oriented conversation with the narcissist might keep you on track and not let you get swayed by the narcissist. Keep in mind the specifications of the conversation, the plan that you want to execute, the things you want to ask them or stop them from doing something, the end result that you wish, the core points that you want to cover during the conversation, etc.

If you do not set a goal or some end result in your mind while starting a conversation with the narcissist, you might end up losing the authority over the topic you want to discuss, get the blame shift, get distracted from the main topic, and end up with not so desirable results at the end of the conversation. So before making a conversation write down detailed points and refer them to stay put on the topic.

2. Setting Boundaries

The first step in taking your power back is setting boundaries. Narcissists can be demanding and take up a lot of your time and energy. Setting boundaries helps you protect your time, space, and mental health. Setting boundaries means defining what sort of behaviors are acceptable, and what actions are not acceptable, and making it clear what all practices are acceptable and unacceptable.

Some examples of Setting boundaries also include respectfully declining their invitations to events, avoiding engaging in negative conversations and setting limits to the amount of time and accessibility to yourself. Narcissists tend to cross boundaries frequently. Being firm and assertive about your limits and holding them accountable if they violate them is also one of the best to set boundaries.

3. Beware of “The Firehouse”

“The Firehouse” situation means the narcissist would try to distract from the main topic, try to destabilize you by spewing out a wide range of distracting topics either from the past or some sort of irrefutable topics. This is a vicious trap where they try to disengage you from the main topic, and also start blaming you for the past events when they get a chance. To avoid this situation, try to avoid getting distracted from irrelevant topics and accusations.

4. Using “I” Statements

Using “I” statements in an effective way to communicate with a narcissist. “I” statements allow you to share your own experiences and feelings without attacking or belittling the narcissist. Using “I” statements means confessing your true feelings openly to them without hesitation even though the feelings are somewhat negative.

When expressing your perspective or feelings, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. This will help prevent the narcissists from feeling attacked and keep the conversation more productive.

For instance, saying, “I feel hurt and frustrated with your constant criticism”, can make your feelings clear to the narcissist and help them understand how their behavior affects you without making them defensive.

5. Choosing your own mood for the conversation

Narcissists have a tendency to change the mood of the room depending on their own mood. Narcissists usually have the tendency to change the mood of the conversation, based on past traumatic experiences, and fights, and also easily can blame shift on you.

6. Try not to take anything personally

Narcissists can be critical and judgemental, pointing out flaws and making derogatory comments. It is important to remember that their behavior is not a reflection of your values or importance. You do not have to internalize their opinions or beliefs.

While communicating with a narcissist, it is essential to keep a level head and not take their comments personally. You can acknowledge their points and highlight your own points without engaging in any negative exchange.

7. Do not fumble or lower your confidence

Speaking with full confidence and firmly will help you to put your points fiercely without their interference. Also staying put and calm will help you to not change the mood of the room. Also standing with an erect posture, a relaxed attitude, a friendly face, and trying not to give in. Try to maintain eye contact with the narcissist.

8. Avoid giving them Attention

Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. They seek adoration, attention, and admiration so they will go to great lengths to get it. Avoid feeding their ego by refusing to give them the attention they seek.

Instead of engaging in conversations that revolve around them or their accomplishments, shift the conversation to other topics. You can also avoid making eye contact or nodding in agreement to statements that are not true or exaggerated.

9. Avoid getting Defensive

Narcissists have a knack for provoking people and drawing them into a defensive argument. Try to stay calm and rational as much as possible. Do not take the bait or get caught in a blame-shifting game. Keep your emotions in control when dealing with a narcissist. It is important to remain calm and composed during the conversations.

10. Being Assertive

Assertiveness is a necessary skill when communicating with a narcissist. Being assertive means standing up for yourself and your rights in a calm and confident manner. Being assertive involves using “I” statements, setting boundaries, and being clear and concise when expressing yourself. It is crucial to maintain a respectful tone and avoid lashing out in anger or frustration.

11. Be aware of the manipulation tactics

Narcissists are masters of manipulation, so be aware of gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and other tactics they may use to control the conversation.

12. Consider the consequences

Narcissists can be vindictive and retaliate if they feel threatened or called out. Before confronting them, assess the risks and whether it is not worth it to engage with them at all.

A few other points to consider while talking to a narcissist,

Narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism, so it is best to avoid direct criticism or many negative comments when speaking to a narcissist.

Sticking to the facts and avoiding getting into emotional arguments or discussions when speaking to a narcissist.

Try to understand where the narcissist is coming from, so showing empathy towards their feelings might lighten the mood of the narcissist.

Narcissists are known for their ability to manipulate and twist the truth. Being prepared for gaslighting tactics during the conversation.

One of the innovative ways is to communicate in writing rather than verbal communication. This allows you to carefully consider your responses and avoid getting caught up in emotional arguments.

Talking to a narcissist can be emotionally draining. Make sure to take care of yourself afterward and practice self-care.

If you are having difficulty communicating with a narcissist or feel powerless in the relationship, consider talking with a therapist. A therapist can provide support and guidance for dealing with narcissistic individuals.

Narcissists feed on emotional reactions, so try not to get emotional when talking to them.

Using concrete examples of their behavior instead of engaging in emotional arguments so focus on facts.


Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but it is possible to communicate with them and take your power back. Setting boundaries, avoiding giving them attention, using “I” statements, not taking their comments personally, and being assertive are effective ways to communicate with a narcissist. Remember, taking your power back starts with setting boundaries and standing up for yourself.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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