Sadistic Narcissist: Meaning, Signs & How to Deal with Them?
What is a Sadistic Narcissist? Have you ever been in such a relationship where your partner seeks pleasure by abusing you, tormenting you emotionally, or inflicting pain on you? If yes, then you might have landed here seeking answers. If not, then this information may seek futuristic benefits for you as your worrisome and immoral relationship might have led you here.
Although all forms of narcissism are equally harmful and toxic for the people who deal with it, but sadistic narcissism is something you need to watch out for.
What is a Sadistic Narcissist?
Usually, narcissists are known or recognized by their inflated sense of self-importance, a desperate need for attention, their constant urge to belittle or downgrade others, or seeking pleasure by putting someone in a tough spot. But there are a few narcissists who seek pleasure in harassing and tormenting others emotionally or playing with their emotions just to seek fulfillment. Such narcissists can be categorized as sadistic narcissists who are barbarous, and seek pleasure by inflicting pain, suffering, and agony on others. Such sadistic narcissists take the complete concept of self-centeredness to the next level.
Understanding Sadistic Narcissism
Sadistic Narcissism primarily known as Malignant Narcissism is a subtype or subcategory of types of narcissism. Sadistic Narcissism is an amalgamation of general narcissistic traits and sadistic tendencies. Some general Narcissistic traits include seeking admiration, attention, validation, lack of empathy, lack of emotions, grandiosity, high sense of entitlement, self-importance, egotism, the need for control and power, pre-occupation with fantasies like beauty and materialistic possessions, opposition to accept responsibilities, hardly being responsible for mistakes and declining all sorts of criticism.
While general sadistic tendencies include no hesitation in humiliating others publically, controlling others until they lose their identities, seeking pleasure in harming people, seeking satisfaction by inflicting pain upon others, having no mercy when their ego is hurt, and lack of compassion and remorse. They make people suffer on purpose. Sadistic Narcissists draw pleasure by deriving a sense of control, manipulation, emotional harm, psychological harm, or even physical harm.
Narcissists are referred to as Dark Personalities. Dark personality traits include sadism, narcissism, psychopathy, greed, spite, and social overtness. The well-known or most aware “Dark Triad” of personality traits include Psychopathy, Narcissism, and Machiavellianism. Thus people with dark personalities possess many such dark traits and toxic behavioral patterns which include all the above-mentioned traits and many more.
Though a narcissist’s sadism differs from the most commonly known sexual sadism. There is no association of sexual pleasures with the narcissist’s sadistic characteristics. The merger of narcissism and sadism gives birth to a sadist narcissist or a malignant narcissist. A sadistic narcissist derives pleasure by gaining more and more narcissistic supply in twisted ways. Their ways and methods include punishing others who are not obedient, cooperative, admiring, and forbearing with them.
Sadistic narcissists also present exaggerated versions of themselves where they are passive-aggressive, abusive, and toxic. They also exhibit vexation by exhibiting disapproval, dislike, disapprobation, disagreements, or criticism sometimes without using words but rather with their nonverbal actions or sometimes with visible actions and measures.
An example of a sadistic narcissist seeking pleasure is, the Narcissist would be happy indeed or feel good when you cry because they know they are the reason for your sadness. Yes! it is true in many cases that a narcissist feels more captivated or enchanted when they see you cry. They would like that feeling that you are crying because of them. Because they know they have still control over you or they feel empowered by doing so. They would find it sadistically pleasing or some kind of sadistic pleasure when you shed tears because of them in front of them.
Recognizing the signs of a Sadistic Narcissist
Now, after gaining some insights about a sadist narcissist or sadistic narcissism, the next question arises, “How do you identify a sadistic narcissist?” Do not get worried as there is a way to identify them based on some signs or tendencies which are discussed below,
Manipulation and Control
Every discussion about a narcissist does include manipulation and control as their primary traits, so even with sadistic narcissists it is common but in an intensified manner. They make sure to exploit people, take utter advantage of their vulnerabilities and insecurities and they do not believe in letting. They might surely seek revenge or retribution and thus they are spiteful.
Sadistic narcissists have this peculiar malicious side to their negative personalities. They display many sadistic tendencies that include cruelty, inflicting pain, causing irreversible harm, and causing great distress to others by means of belittling, abusing, and manipulating others.
Enjoying the misfortunes and adversities of others
Sadistic narcissists particularly enjoy when others are facing adversities and also seek happiness by acknowledging other people’s misfortunes. Sadistic narcissists seek pleasure when they find people suffering emotionally or physically.
Entitlement and Grandiosity
Sadistic Narcissists also have an inflated ego, self-importance, and an urge to feel entitled. They would also disregard other people’s needs, emotions, and feelings. They also believe that are entitled to receive special treatment from people and thus have high expectations regarding the same, and when people do not provide special treatment to them they belittle them.
Lack of Empathy
Sadistic Narcissists are no different and they also lack empathy. They could not sympathize with people who they hurt, or cannot feel other people’s pain, instead, they are the cause of their pain.
Dealing with a Sadistic Narcissist
The sadistic narcissist is most satisfied and feels pleasure when they get a narcissistic supply by inflicting pain and harm on others. It is their way to procure happiness.
Sadistic Narcissists are shrewd and they choose their victims very carefully. They chose guileless and naive people on purpose so that they can provide them narcissistic supply without questioning much.
They make sure that people become fully dependent on them. They would choose obedient, compliant, and fearful people especially. Such people fall head over heels for the sadistic narcissist due to their charismatic and unavoidable personality. They are knocked out by the narcissist’s extravagant personality.
First, they completely let people let soak in their charm, get influenced and impressed by them, and then start the devaluation. Once the narcissist feels that the victim is completely hooked on them, they would start peeling off their false layers and start to show their toxic and abusive layers to them.
The abusive behavior and toxicity keep on gradually increasing with their partner consistently facing their narcissistic rage, unreal demands, condemnation, and disgrace.
Thus dealing or interacting with a sadistic narcissist becomes difficult. It feels like they are emotionally draining you. These interactions can have unforeseen and everlasting consequences that include bad memories and lifelong trauma.
The utmost step here is to care for your own well-being and clearly see the bigger picture here. Take a step back, think thoroughly and you would definitely acknowledge yourself with the narcissist’s abusive and manipulative personality.
You might start feeling that you are emotionally drained, unhappy, and have lost most of your interest in life. This is not because you lack something, you are enough. You are just with the wrong company that has left negative impacts on your life.
Do not worry, just take a deep breath and decide to prioritize your well-being. It is not late, and you can still save yourself from an abusive and toxic relationship with the help of the below-mentioned points,
Understand that you are being abused by the abuser
Understanding that you are being abused by the abuser; needs some time as you would realize it sooner or later depending on the abuser’s treatment. Realize that they are a narcissist and they would be treating you the same way and even their treatment might even get worst with time as they are sadistic narcissists.
Narcissists do not change and their core personality and traits would remain the same, and also the changes can be only surface level. Most narcissists are deliberate abusers, especially sadistic narcissists. They would gaslight their victims on purpose. their abuse is not just incidental indeed it is a completely cyclical occurrence. It does not just happen once, it is a repetitive abusive cycle of multiple events for which you are a victim. So understand that you are being abused and disconnect yourself from them as soon as possible.
Another important step to stop being part of a Sadistic Narcissist’s Cycle of Abuse is to set up clear and firm boundaries. This means being clear about what you will and will not tolerate from the narcissist. It is important to communicate these boundaries clearly, both verbally and in writing, and to stick to them consistently.
The first step is taking your power back by setting boundaries. Narcissists can be demanding and take up a lot of your time and energy. Setting boundaries helps you protect your time, space, and mental health. Narcissists tend to cross boundaries frequently. Being firm and assertive about your limits and holding them accountable if they violate them is also one of the best to set boundaries.
Try to seek support from friends and family
When you feel that you have become an integral part of the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse, and are unable to find a way out then seeking help from others can you a lot. Being alone in such a phase is risky and not very useful and this may also not be good for your mental health, as you would be wishing and willing to get past the traumatic experiences and pave your way toward healing from all the trauma that the narcissist had put you through.
So do hesitate to reach out to friends and family for emotional support and also join some prayer groups, visit any worship place, if you are a believer, or join some communities or therapy groups that help in healing and dealing with trauma.
Pave your way out of the toxic relationship and do not return
Sadistic Narcissists are psychopaths and they can resort to any means to keep you in an abusive relationship. So one should carefully plan their exit from the toxic relationship with the sadistic narcissist if they are planning to do so as it seems one of the best and safest ways to say no to narcissistic abuse.
Sadistic narcissists are malicious and they would go to any extent just to seek revenge. They can resort to ways like hurting you physically, smearing your reputation, causing you irreversible harm, and so on. So finding a safe exit is crucial here. Getting out of such an abusive relationship is one of the best ways to handle the abuser and the manipulation. Just look at all the red flags and seek your way out of the abusive relationship. Do not endure the pain and manipulation and hurt just let go of the relationship and be happy.
Cutt off contact with them entirely
When you are done with the narcissist’s manipulation and abuse, it is when you wish to escape the abusive atmosphere. Breaking off contact is one such way to keep your distance from them.
The “No contact” is your way of saying “Just Not anymore” to the narcissistic abuse, the violence in case, the manipulative tactics, and being used as a pawn. “No Contact” means going off-reach with them be it by deleting or blocking them on social media, blocking their phone number, and even giving them the silent treatment. Just completely discarding their existence from your life is a sure way of cutting contact with them as narcissists do not leave you as easily. They would hoover or even try to reach out by any means.
Take time to work on yourself after the breakup
Emotional, Mental, and physical Healing becomes very important when you have been with a sadistic narcissist. A narcissistic relationship tends to deteriorate your mental, physical, and emotional health along with decreasing your confidence, willpower to live, and the simple joys of life.
Try to give yourself time to heal yourself after all the manipulation, trauma, and abuse. Here below are some signs that you are healing from a breakup,
- You look happy and healthy
- You can reminiscence your good old habits
- You start enjoying your own company and your attitude toward life changes
- Your life starts seeming carefree
- You become more confident with life
- Physical and mental health issues tend to disappear
- You start feeling all the emotions
How to liberate yourself from the Narcissist’s manipulation and trauma?
By the time you realize that you had a troublesome and traumatic relationship due to a narcissistic partner, you would be able to understand the below-provided points. If you realize that you want to liberate yourself from the narcissist, then these points will help you. So please keep reading further,
- Start by looking after your physical health with the help of exercises, yoga, meditation, and any form of physical workout.
- Look after your mental health with the help of meditation, reading good books, seeking help from your loved ones, listening to music, and doing more things that keep your interest at its peak.
- Consult a mental health expert, a therapist, or anyone who can guide you for that matter.
- Try connecting more with nature by hiking, swimming, jogging in the fresh air, and any possible means which can get you closure to nature.
- Give appropriate time to yourself to heal internally; do not force healing upon yourself.
- Find things that keep you away from negative thoughts, negative people, and a negative atmosphere.
- Learning new skills, meeting new people, and visiting new places also play a crucial role in freeing yourself from narcissistic characteristics.
As soon as you recognize the abuse, liberate yourself from the toxic relationship and also from the malicious and negative sadistic narcissist.
Do not worry, just take a deep breath and decide to prioritize your well-being. It is not late, and you can still save yourself from an abusive and toxic relationship with the help of the above-mentioned points.