Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Projection, Mirroring, Hoovering, Control, Love, and More

If you have come across narcissists in your life, understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder becomes a crucial part of understanding them and dealing with them. For understanding Narcissistic traits, abuse patterns, tactics, and unique methods, the first step is to understand in detail Narcissism, Narcissistic personality Disorder, and Narcissists as a whole.

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

If you are dating a narcissist, or have a narcissistic family member then be ready to be surprised by some of their unusual, surprising, or strange behavior patterns. This outlandish behavior may be the cause of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

What is an NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?

To understand NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) in simple forms, let us put it in simple words. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is nothing but portraying toxic traits in an intensified state than others. The traits may be a magnified ego, an extensive need for admiration and praise, and an urge to be superior to others or at least consider oneself to be superior to others. These traits are present in any common person, but for a narcissist, these traits are present in an outrageous amount, and they are intensified when something substandard takes place.

Everyone possesses selfish traits like ego, jealousy, self-praise, selfishness, control over situations in life as much as possible, expecting attention from others, troubles in relationships, rudeness, selfishness, lack of self-reflection, parental pressure, Parental issues, and many more.

Then how do these common traits make a narcissist different from others?

To understand NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) in simple form or pedestrian language, let us put it in simple words. NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is nothing but portraying these common toxic traits in an intensified state than others. And that is how these common toxic traits that are possessed by all but simply are intensified for a person with narcissistic personality disorder make them a little from others.

A mental illness can cause many personality and behavioral changes in a person. So if you come across some strange behavioral pattern of a person, it is either they have some mental health issue, or they are going through some traumatic life situation. If it is the first aspect, then consulting a mental health expert would be advisory.

If a person is diagnosed with NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder), then that may be responsible for many behavioral and personality changes for a narcissistic person. So coming across strange behaviors of a narcissistic person would not come to you as a surprise. When you live with a narcissist, you have to be ready to expect the unexpected sometimes. Not every day do you have to be ready for strangeness but there are a few times when a narcissist would act against normalcy, which might shock you or put you into delusion.

What is a Narcissist?

A Narcissist is an individual who is excessively obsessed to have control over all situations in their life whether it’s money control or any other control, control over all individuals and their behavior, and also expects everyone around the to focus just on them. They intend to be the center of attraction in all situations.

The Narcissist and Money Control

Are narcissists obsessed with money control? Do they spend money on you? The answer to these questions is Yes and a big yes! Narcissists and money are directly proportional to each other. Money brings power or is a tool for expressing power.

All a narcissist cares about is attention, supply, shiny high-end portrait, money, and control above all. So until they have all this, they would not be bugging you extremely, but as soon as one of the things starts deteriorating they can make such a fuss, which makes you question your life choices.

Narcissists are usually materialistic and obsessed with everything which makes their social image lustrous. Money is one such factor that can fulfill all their materialistic desires, thus they can be consumed by money.

Narcissists always want their ways to work out and project certain behavior onto others. That projection often includes their thoughts and thinking patterns. Also do not be surprised when a narcissistic act a little strange, as it may be normal behavior for them but not you.

What is Narcissistic Projection?

Projection means a justification of one’s action by accusing or pointing fingers at others. It is a reaction or a repulse action that is an outcome of one’s guilt, wrongdoing, or something that one is not proud of in particular or is not ready to accept or reflect on self. This makes it easy to deal with a difficult situation, without much remorse.

Narcissistic Projection is nothing but the same. The only variance is that narcissists use these projections more often, which does not even allow them to reflect on the wrongdoing. The structure of projections gets more and more intense with time. This phenomenon is commonly and frequently observed among narcissists and so popularized.

A Narcissist person craves attention all the time, lacks care and empathy, can be rude and blunt, ignores other people’s feelings, and has troubled relationships. Narcissists can play mind tricks and manipulate you. They can easily manipulate you by mirroring any personality trait that you desire and deceiving you.

What is Narcissistic Mirroring?

Mirroring is usually an adaptation of someone else’s accent, style, way of walking, or basic parts of their personality or a complete adaptation of their personality. This usually happens when you spend time together, know details about each other and adapt to each other. This process is termed mirroring.

Narcissist Mirroring is more or less the same as defined above but the only difference is Narcisisit often use this technique repeatedly to deceive others and hide their ill intentions behind their newly adapted personality.

If you are dealing with a narcissist or have dealt with one at any point in time then you might be familiar with narcissistic traits and how they lure their victims to feed on them emotionally. When narcissists desire something, then by any means they need to pertain to that.

What are some traits through which you can spot a narcissist?

  • Lack of sensitivity and empathy.
  • Exaggerates situations to intensify their worth, accomplishments, or even difficulties.
  • Are self-centric.
  • Are obsessed with materialistic desires and appearances.
  • Blame others for their mistakes.
  • Have unhealthy relationships.
  • Have regular mood swings.
  • Arrogance and anger is their first reaction to any problems.
  • Hate changes and also cannot take criticism well.
  • Are emotionally unstable and unavailable with low self-esteem.
  • Jealousy is one of the many arrows in their quiver.
  • Takes advantage of others easily.
  • Are abusive both mentally and verbally.
  • Lack of self-awareness and self-reflection.
  • Always expect more from others.
  • Are in constant need of approval.

Narcissists feed on emotional supply. Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior. And to obtain supply, they can be the most manipulative individuals who can use tricks and tactics to charm and lure you.

Despite many negative traits, a narcissist is able to perceive many emotions like love, heartbreaks, friend zones, and all sorts of emotional turmoil.

Can a Narcissist Fall in Love?

A narcissist is capable of feeling all emotions, it is just that they d not acknowledge them and express them due to their vulnerabilities. They fear expressing emotions can make them emotionally weak and vulnerable to their partner. They fear that once they surrender to their feelings they might lose control.

Narcissists are afraid to confess anything as according to them they are perfect, have no faults, they are superior to others and nobody can understand them better than themselves.

But narcissists cannot handle these emotional waves well like most of the human race, so they choose to sometimes cheat, ignore, lie, hoover, harass, or even make the life miserable of their partners, friends, or anyone near them or closely associated with them.

Why do Narcissists lie so much?

When a narcissist feels the need to dominate the situation or try to impress or prove their worth, this is when they resort to all sorts of lies without considering any other fact.

A narcissist is never wrong according to them and considers them as the center of attraction as if the world rotates around them. Yes! it is possible to ignore a narcissist but you should also be ready for some consequences and unexpected counter-reactions. They think the world rotates around them and so they are very ignorant, self-centered, and mean. They cannot think outside the box unless it is according to or in their interest or favor.

We all might have come across narcissists at least once, whether it be in any association with a friend, lover, family, or acquaintance at work. If you are somehow associated with a narcissist you might know their traits, and one of the nasty attributes of their personalities is that devilish smirk they have on their faces upon some muddling accomplishments. To know more about the Narcissistic smirk and Sociopathic Smile let us dig further.

What is a narcissistic smirk?

The Narcissistic smirk is the gesture or the feeling of contentment they get when they have done something shady like manipulating someone, gaining pleasure from someone else’s pain, disrespecting some statement or someone, displaying superiority, despising any emotion like hiding hideous intentions behind a smirk, a feeling of dirty contempt by doing something absolutely displeasing, or anything nasty which does not give other people happy but is a source of contentment for a narcissist.

The Narcissistic smirk is that gleaming half smile where one corner of your lips and face is elevated slightly along with your eyebrows. There is also some kind of nasty pizzazz in the whole personality and attitude of a narcissist when they smirk. You can also notice an unpleasant twinkle in their eyes when a narcissist smirks.

Narcissists are incapable of feelings like empathy, love, happiness, or gratitude. So their actions always end up troubling someone or anyone who is close to them. And so they resort to all sorts of tools like smirking, psychotic laughing, getting sadistic pleasure from someone’s pain, and much more.

Now reading about how narcissists can be sadistic, there is one question that pops up in the mind. Are Narcissists Sociopaths? We often come across terms like sociopath, psychopath, narcissist, sadist, or many such words when a mental illness is being discussed. So with the reference to the topic, let us know are narcissists and sociopaths are the same.

Are Narcissists Sociopaths? – Difference between a Narcissist and a Sociopath

So to understand it properly, Narcissism and Sociopathy are two different kinds of disorders but have many similar traits so are often used interchangeably.

Narcissists are self-centered individuals who may or may not care about the welfare of society. They can be mean, manipulative, aggressive, and difficult but they hardly do criminal activities. While sociopaths do not care about anyone, they opt for dangerous means like criminal activities and often believe in nonverbal or harmful ways of seeking revenge when wronged.

Narcissists also do seek revenge but they do not indulge themselves in harmful, non-verbal actions. Their ways of seeking revenge are mostly through mental harassment while sociopaths mostly opt for both physical and mental harassment. Narcissists usually prefer to pass a sociopathic smile to hurt their victims or feel the surge of power, when they make someone vulnerable through their physical and verbal actions.

What is a Sociopathic Smile?

Both narcissists and sociopaths seek pleasure in someone else’s pain and suffering. So they are both used interchangeably. They are often linked together. So Narcissistic smirk and a sociopathic smile are similar. A sociopath and a narcissist would never hesitate to smile or smirk in nasty situations so they are often tagged as sadistic pleasure seekers or toxic people.

If it only carries the pure gesture of a simple smile it is not toxic but as soon as it gets linked with evil motives it can be a form of toxicity. Thus smirk and smile both used in positive situations hold their true meaning, but as soon as they are linked with negativity it often converts to negative or toxic actions.

There is also one more term associated with a narcissist, which is a Parasitic Narcissist. Have you ever heard about a parasitic relationship? A parasite is one of the most common terms that is commonly associated with a narcissist.

Who is Parasitic Narcissist?

A parasitic narcissist is a deadly combination of harmfulness and toxicity and who so ever is a victim of such a parasitic narcissist is doomed for sure. Narcissists are usually parasitic individuals who take undue advantage of their innocent partners, family members, friends, acquaintances, or anyone they are apprehensive with.

Looking at the negative sides of a narcissist, you might be wondering the same question, Is it Evil to be Narcissistic? Is it like a curse?

Is it Evil to be Narcissistic?

Being narcissistic or suffering from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), is not your hands. Yes but not being cruel, evil or a sadist is in your hands. Being good or bad is indeed in your hands though. So if you are suffering from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), do not get dishearted, as it is a mental health disorder that can be controlled but most probably not cured completely. If you are suffering through NPD, you need to worry that you do not become a shady person under the influence of narcissism.

So now that we know about narcissists, narcissistic personality disorder, and how difficult it is to be with a narcissist; one question might enter your mind, “Can one not leave a Narcissist?”, “What happens when a Narcissist is exposed and confronted?”.

Yes! you can definitely leave a narcissist, but they would not allow that. They would hoover around you for a long time to convince you to continue the relationship with them.

What is Narcissist Hoovering?

Hoovering means keeping in touch or having lingering feelings for an ex-partner even after breaking up. Hoovering is usually a term associated with people suffering from some sort of personality or mental health disorder, especially a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by an individual to lure you back into a toxic relationship.

Hoovering when referred to the dictionary meaning is sucking something in or consuming something eagerly. A person who fears losing someone even after losing them is aptly hoovering. It is like they would not let go of a person even though they do not want to be in touch. Narcissist Hoovering is like they would not let go of a person even though they do not want to be in touch, especially their exes.

Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. They believe the world revolves around them and they are entitled to have whatever they desire. Hypocrisy is their go-to trait. Selfishness is in their true nature, and they would do anything to seek benefit from you. They ought to keep in touch with their exes even and also do not hesitate to lure them into new relationships despite their commitment to their life partner.

This is the reason they use the breadcrumb tactic to lure the interest of the person whom they want to take advantage from for a temporary basis. They would lure their target using the breadcrumb tactic, by texting them, chasing them through social media, calling, and being in touch to develop a temporary but intimate connection with you. Once their purpose is done with you, you might not even receive any justifications for leaving abruptly.

What are Narcissist Breadcrumbs?

When a narcissist feels that they have lost interest or you might be thinking of moving forward, they would drop breadcrumbs in the form of love-bombed sweet texts, emojis, comments, or even calls, just to lure you back in. They would have hidden, trustworthy, coy, selfish agendas behind breadcrumbing you.

They use this tactic, not out of love, care, or any positive feeling, but just to keep you in their life a little longer. If you are already a part of a relationship with a narcissist, then they would drop just enough breadcrumbs for you to take as bait. They are never going to change, or have empathy. They just want you to stick around them for a little longer. So do not fall prey to a narcissist, when they suddenly start sending flirty, coy messages as they would just be dropping breadcrumbs for you to be around a little longer.

So leaving a narcissist can be a little difficult, then what about exposing or confronting them? What happens when a Narcissist is Exposed? How would narcissists behave when they know that you know about their real personalities? It is just like an indirect confrontation but can be ruinous as a narcissist is totally unpredictable and you never know what would they do when they know they have been exposed.

When you know the ugly truth about the narcissist and their narcissistic personality disorder, the first step you want to do is confront them, break the relationship with them, stop falling victim to their mind games, tell others about their nasty reality and make them repent for their irreversible deeds.

So you start digging in the dirt and start to find solutions, find reasons for their uncommon behavior, the reasons for their toxic personality and traits, and much more. It is only in the later stages of being with them you realize that they have created a false facade for their personality which is keeping their real toxic personality intact. Thus you wish to expose them as soon as possible. But now you do know the consequences, aftermath, and reasons to expose them. So make your decision wisely!

So now that we know about Narcissists, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), their positive traits, negative traits, relationships with them, breakups with them, exposing them or leaving them; in short everything associated with them that can also affect you in a way if you indulge yourself with them.

There are some weird traits too when you associate with a narcissist. This should not come to you as a shock as being with a narcissist would bring lots of surprises, shocks, and regrets to you. So let us move further and know about some of the other strange and surprising things that a narcissist can, may, or would do. As Narcissists are not your regular dating partners or regular people in your life, they are much more than that. They come with many questionable demands, weird and strange behavior, and some acts that may be a little difficult for you to forget.

  • You are always the wrongdoer and not them in their eyes
  • They are selfish and inconsiderate
  • They always see the negatives first
  • They are almost incapable of praising others or giving enough credit to others
  • They act over dramatically over trivial matters
  • There is no winning against them in an argument
  • They are highly competitive even with someone who is incomparable
  • They cheat innumerably
  • Have uncommon expectations and unusual fantasies
  • They use bygone grudges as their trump card
  • They use manipulation in all situations where they feel they are losing the grip
  • They never provide straight answers


Concluding the article, in hope that the readers had a satisfactory read and are successful in Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder thoroughly along with many more positive or negative traits, behavior, relations, emotions, and almost everything relatable to Narcissism and Narcissists.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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