5 Worst Things You Can Say To A Narcissist
What are the worst things you can say to a narcissist? Dealing with narcissists may feel like fighting a losing battle. If you have come across this article, then you already might be familiar with narcissists and their toxic traits.
Narcissists have greed for seeking attention, admiration, and validation. They lack empathy and would do anything to maintain their grandiose image. Thus, they might be exploiting their victims to obtain a narcissistic supply. It is difficult to maintain healthy communication with them and thus you might constantly feel overwhelming notions of you being abused, exploited, and pimped.
A narcissist is characterized by boosted self-importance, self-absorption, exploitation of others, grandiosity, and lack of empathy, thus they are the epitome of selfishness.
A Narcissist is an individual who is often defined as a difficult individual, very difficult to live with, and tough to endure. They are excessively obsessed with having control and always wish to be the center of attraction.
They are control freaks, sly, mean, selfish, and all that you might not want in the person who is either your partner, a family member, a friend, or simply someone who is a part of your life inevitably.
Most importantly they lack empathy. They simply do not know how to be empathetic, and never tend to care, understand, and be easygoing for others as they think vulnerability and being soft to others are negative traits that can be used against them.
This makes it challenging for everyone around them as bearing their toxicity can be exhausting for everyone. Yet there is no end to their abuse. Now you might be wondering, Is there any way out of this toxic quag?
You might be losing hopes of getting equal with them but rest your worries here as you can achieve optimal results by striking a chord with them. You can push a narcissist’s buttons or get on their nerves and obtain what you want. If you say those words that hurt the narcissist’s grandiose image and the perfect perception of self, you have hit the jackpot here.
Questioning their beliefs of superiority and doubting their magnificent personality may immediately put them in a bad mood or cause distress. Here are 5 worst things you can say To a Narcissist.
5 Worst Things You Can Say to A Narcissist
These may not be the worst things accurately, as different things affect people differently. But these can be a few generic statements that may allow you to disarm them instantly.
Telling them: “Do not worry about me, I am fine and Calm”
Saying this, especially after a quarrel or having a difference of opinion might leave them feeling anxious.
Narcissists want you to depend upon them and when you tell them this it puts them into thoughts. They would start feeling uneasy. They want you to think about them, and have thoughts for their well-being. But when you say “Do not worry about me, I am fine and Calm”, they indirectly assume that you are implying you would not worry about them too and focus on yourself.
Once you state that you are fine on your own, this very thought is enough to disarm them instantly. They start feeling neglected as they think you would just care for yourself and work on yourself, ignoring their needs. Narcissists like to make others uncomfortable, dependable, and weak so that they can establish their control and power in the relationship.
So when you tell them that you are fine, they would believe that they do not have any impact on your life and thus make them restless.
Telling them: “You are not as special as you think you are”
This statement is as powerful as a nuclear weapon of words in the narcissistic world of fantasy.
You can immediately puncture their inflated ego, self-image, and grandeur personality simply by uttering these words, “You are not as special as you think you are”.
Their ego may come crashing down and penetrate their well-casted self-image. This statement implies that they are not any more exceptional and perfect in your perception. This simple line threatens their deep-rooted fear of being exposed or viewed as “Average” or “Ordinary”.
It may be normal for you to say this, but it is a reality check for them which either puts them in a defensive mode that brings out their rage or just makes them sad and emotionally weak. This statement directly challenges their ego and thus their defense mechanism may be unpredictable at this point.
They may also try to dismiss your statement and try to doubt the credibility of your words. Narcissists rely on external validation and this sudden statement would shatter their image causing them either to confront or hide their true toxic selves exceptionally well.
Telling them: “You are right!”
This statement immediately brings the ball to your court and dismisses the argument.
When they least expect it or are seeking validation for something unusual or may be unfavorable or unlikable, slightly insert the phrase, “Yes! You are right” and this will ensure that they are busy thinking about why you agreed and validated them so easily. Their thoughts would run wild and they may also get distracted.
This statement may seem like a counter statement but indeed it neutralizes the situation. This ensures that the argument ends in a neutral tone with your agreement and thus ceases the argument. You may have a lot of things to say to them as a part of your counterargument due to the pain, hurt, and emotional turmoil they might have given you.
Instead when you do this, it may be the winning statement ending the manipulative game of the narcissist. Even if they are not right, when you say that they are right indeed, the argument sinks to the bottom as they might not have anything to attack back.
Also, do not take the blame if they are blaming you, but if the argument is futile just agree for once and get it over with.
Telling them: “I am busy”; without stating the reason
Saying this to them, would make them anxious in the first place, fill them with rage in the second, and finally make them fear abandonment.
Narcissists want you to always be there for them at any given point in time. So when you say you are busy, this will provoke thought processes and they would start creating all sorts of scenarios.
They might simply assume that you have been busy and not focusing on yourself perhaps because you might have found someone better or you are planning to leave them. All such kind of wild thoughts might run in their mind.
Narcissists frequently break boundaries and never respect anything that their partners might have especially suggested not to do. Thus when they call you or approach you in person, tell them that you are busy with something else and you will be having the conversation later, in your free time.
Watch them go all worried and anxious. Their second reaction might be rage and their final reaction would be fear. They would be anxious reading the reason, furious as you denied them something, and fearful of the abandonment issue.
Just do not say anything
Silence is the lethal weapon to win the war of manipulation against the narcissist.
When the narcissist makes an argument simply do not react or act indifferently. When you do not argue back or show your difference of opinion, it would throw them off their game.
Narcissists are skilled manipulators, and they know how to manage other people’s thoughts. When you do not react and remain silent, they will be confused regarding your thoughts as you reacted differently than their prediction.
When you refuse to engage in their arguments through your silence this simply would not give them a chance to provoke you. This is why they hate your silence.
They may feel ignored, attacked, and powerless at this point. When you do not provide a reply, it will drive them insane.
What should you never say to a narcissist?
Never tell them: “I know myself better” – When you say this, they will surely try to break your self-confidence which you may have built with a lot of effort. It just might take a few seconds for them to crack your confidence.
Never tell them: “This ain’t about you” – For narcissists everything is just about them, so telling them this would activate their defense mechanism.
Never tell them: “Don’t you think it is your fault?” – Balming them would reverse the game, and they might blameshift efficiently making you the culprit.
Never tell them: “This ain’t a competition?” – For a narcissist, everything is a competitive task and they need to win at everything. So if you tell them this you are challenging their superiority. Be ready for any unwanted consequences, because they are coming back at you.
Never tell them: “Do not compliment others in front of them” – Narcissists hate it when you compare, compliment and appreciate someone else and not them.
These are a few statements that you should avoid saying to a narcissist as they may create troubles and difficulties for you. They may seek revenge for this. They would not find the clam until they get back at you for passing such a statement. Thus to avoid trouble for yourself, be aware of not stating the obvious things.
Living with a narcissist is difficult and you may have many thoughts that you may want to just lay on them, but take a deep breath and control your emotions as they are not worth it!
Rather than completely focusing on what should you say to disarm the narcissist, you should try to focus on how to draw the relationship into a positive direction rather than making it complicated. Your relationship with the narcissist might be challenging as it is, thus you should not make it more challenging.
Try to maintain your emotional, physical, and mental health by avoiding arguments with the narcissist. Choose to disengage, disconnect, and remain silent when they provoke you.
If the relationship drives into a concerning phase, seek help from family and friends, if not try to seek help from professional therapists or mental health experts.
It may be tempting to disarm the narcissist, but you may also have to face the consequences as narcissists are incapable of handling criticism well.
The prominent takeaway would be to try to keep your cool while you are with a narcissist. Disarming them by confronting them would give you satisfaction but may also bring consequences. Thus be mindful of what you do and say around a narcissist as it may backfire and you may have to suffer more at their hands.
Try to prioritize self-care, emotional balance, and mental, physical, and emotional health by maintaining boundaries and a safe distance as much as possible from the narcissist.