How To Respond To Narcissistic Rage?
How to respond to Narcissistic Rage? When you are involved with someone narcissistic, you might be very well familiar with their rage. Let us know a few ways to respond to narcissistic rage.
What is Narcissistic Rage?
Rage is an outburst of anger. It is a common outcome of emotions or an emotional response for someone with a narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is a reaction or response to a Narcissistic Injury.
What is Narcissistic Injury?
Narcissistic injury is a term that is used when a narcissist’s self-worth or self-esteem is hurt. It is an emotional injury. Narcissistic injury can be the cause of narcissistic rage. Narcissistic Injury also known as “narcissistic wound” is an occurrence or an outcome when a narcissist faces loss, criticism, a feeling of abandonment, or loneliness.
Sometimes a narcissist just shuts down their emotional side and switches to an apathetic or emotionless individual who chooses violence, anger, and such negative emotions to let their internal conflict out. This internal conflict can happen when a narcissist is upset with something or hurt due to someone.
Thus when a narcissist gets hurt they might either go violent or outrageously furious(which is termed as narcissistic rage) or they would just go silent for days without uttering a single word.
Narcissistic rage is a counter-reaction or a defense mechanism utilized by a narcissist to guard themselves and their grandiose image. They even use rage to establish their superiority, power, and self-worth, and thus safeguard their perfect spotless image. Narcissistic rage is like a shield that protects the narcissist from the arrows or spears of setbacks, shame, inefficiency, disappointment, vulnerabilities, and anything that can devalue their worth.
Rage is usually defined as an extremely violent and out-of-control anger burst. The intensity of hostility, wrath, outrage, and outbursts of violent words and actions is higher with rage as compared to anger. Rage is one of their most used emotion and when a narcissist is hurt by someone else, they would resort to rage and project it on the person who is closest to them.
Sometimes a narcissist just shuts down their mellow side full of sweet emotions and chooses negative emotions like rage, ignorance, physical abuse, emotional breakdown, and even disappearance for days.
A narcissist’s thought processes and reflexes are a little impossible to predict precisely. They act impulsively out of rage when proven wrong or pointed fingers at. Narcissists are passive-aggressive beings, who fail to connect emotionally with their loved ones hence they use various methods to feel powerful. Their actions always differ from what they have to say or believe.
The first and foremost reaction of a narcissist to any inconvenience caused by others is anger, rage, or wrath. If you have been with a narcissist you might be aware of their anger issues. They feel more agitated than usual when you ask them to reflect upon something. They would be harsh with their words. They would try to hurt you emotionally.
They might even call you names or use abusive vocabulary when you expose their shady side or do something that seems unpleasing or resentful to them. But do not get disheartened or terrified by their rage, as it is their go-to tactic to outburst their rage on you. And thus when they are displeased by something you have done or something that can trigger their outrageous side, be ready to face their fury.
So what should you do when you face narcissistic rage? How should you respond to such a deranged situation? Let us know some ways to respond to narcissistic rage,
How to Respond to Narcissistic Rage?
When you get involved in the rage war with a narcissist remember that it can be a fight that can scar you deeply. This fight of rage with the narcissist might feel like you are fighting a battle of your life as fighting a rage war can be the most difficult part of your life.
Fighting with a narcissist is not the same as fighting with people, as narcissists lack empathy and are hypersensitive, and thus their ego is hurt by the littlest of things. Thus they might also try to provoke you as a part of reverse psychology that they use when they are upset.
The more you react or respond to their rage, it fuels their anger. They may get more and more furious. The most important thing here is to remember that their rage is not on you or you are not the reason, the narcissist is just wired that way that their reaction is always wild to the minutest of conveniences.
Here are a few ways that may help you to respond to a narcissist in different situations,
In the Workplace
Working with a Narcissist or someone with narcissistic traits can be difficult and challenging in itself. Narcissistic bosses or colleagues may constantly put you down or try to provoke you, but you should not lose your calm and try to respond rationally. Here are some ways,
Voice your concerns – When you are exposed to narcissistic rage in the work culture you may reach out to the human resource department and share your concerns immediately so that nobody is in a blamable situation.
Set your limits – Setting boundaries with a narcissist can be your safest move to deal with narcissistic rage, thus discussing what behavior is tolerable and what is not, should be clearly mentioned by you.
Make physical space – Whenever someone narcissistic may exhibit their anger, and if it involves you, set a certain distance between you and them or enact certain reactions that indicate separation or distancing between the two of you.
Quit Immediately – If you have a narcissistic, working with whom might seem unbearable then you may also opt for an option that includes quitting. This ensures your mental peace as engaging with a narcissist is equivalent to losing battle every day.
In a Romantic Relationship
Considering Therapy – When you have a narcissistic partner, the situation may seem like a swamp. Thus it is better to consider couples therapy to learn more ways to deal with a narcissistic partner and also it provides a neutral space to share your concerns.
Set realistic expectations – Being in a relationship with a narcissist comes with many challenges and their skyrocketed expectations make it even more difficult to be with them. Thus if you set your expectations low, you may be able to see the relationship in a positive light which can make it more bearable and tolerable.
Break up or part ways if you may – If the abuse and manipulation are going above your tolerance, then rather than suffering you may opt for the option of quitting the relationship and leaving them for good.
Take a Break – If you are stuck in a situation where you cannot find separate ways with the narcissist, then you can also opt for the option of taking a break from each other. This may bring noticeable changes in the narcissist’s behavior at least for a while, but they may again be the same as they were prior. Thus breaking up or separating ways is the best option.
If you come across a narcissistic friend in your life, you may want to find other friends or establish strong boundaries so that this friendship may not be havoc for you. If you do not do so you may be a punching bag, a go-to friend, or a friend who does all the work for them.
So if you feel the friendship with the narcissist is overburdening, you may consider taking a break.
Learn to ignore them and do not let them test your patience. Remember you can control them by simply avoiding the drama.
Now, how you may respond to a narcissistic fiend is mentioned below,
- Let them know that you may no longer bear the consequences of their actions.
- By drawing clear boundaries and not being their punching bags.
- Give them the silent treatment.
- Impose a break to let them know you may no longer be a target for their rage and furious behavior.
- Go No-contact for a while and allow them to cool off their anger.
With family members
If you have a narcissistic family member, then it may seem that you may never be able to find an exit from the loop of toxicity. But there are ways to control the rage of a narcissistic family member too.
Do not argue with them – Narcissists are never going to recognize and realize their mistakes. If they are getting into an argument, know that it is not about you but about them. Narcissists view everything in black and white, meaning they view things in either all-or-nothing terms. This makes them believe that all the fault is yours and that they are innocent here.
Set Limits on what you will do for them – The best way to cope with a narcissistic family member is to set limits to what you might do for them as narcissists are beings who might seek as much advantage as possible from other people. They are selfish and thus they might not think twice before taking benefits and using a family member if required.
Do not call them a narcissist – Confronting a narcissist is always tempting but it usually backfires in the most unexpected ways. Your intention behind calling them a narcissist might be intended to either put an end to their abuse or change them for good in some positive ways. But all that aside, you might have to be a part of their retaliation.
From a Stanger
If a stranger lashes at you or you may unwantedly become a part of their argument sessions, the best way is to disengage. If you continue arguing it may only escalate the situation and you may have to suffer because of that.
Things To Take Away
It is important to understand how narcissistic rage is harmful to both the narcissist and the person facing their rage.
So if you are facing narcissistic rage through your narcissistic partner, narcissistic parents, narcissistic children or any narcissist around you then understand that it is not normal and it is not your fault. Try and develop some coping skills and understand more about narcissism.
The above-mentioned may surely help you cope with different narcissists and situations with which you are involved.