10 Annoying Reactions Of A Narcissist When They Cannot Control You

How does a narcissist react when they cannot control you? Narcissists thrive upon controlling others. So what happens when they are not able to do that anymore? Let us find out by knowing, 10 Annoying reactions of a Narcissist when they cannot control you.

If you are dealing with a controlling partner or a person, you might only worried about the reactions when these control freaks lose their control and power. This can be a fearsome situation for you as their victim. Also, someone who might display qualities of controlling others, may not necessarily be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, but generally, all narcissists may be control freaks.

Narcissists are characterized by a strong desire to control others, due to a lack of empathy. Also, it is important to note here that not all narcissists may be toxic or abused to that level that may ruin other people’s lives. A mental health expert may be able to diagnose the narcissist with their abusive qualities. Controlling others and overpowering them are such toxic traits that narcissists or anyone who is controlling may implement over others.

Narcissists like controlling others, especially their partners, if they are unable to do so, you might receive their negative reaction. They may lash out at you, ignore you, or even go on a smear campaign to spoil your reputation.

A narcissist’s primary goal is to get your attention and regain their power over you, along with provoking a response. To stop this from happening, you may have a few options or defense mechanisms like going no contact, setting firm boundaries, believing in your self-worth, asking them to treat you with dignity and respect, and also maintaining your power by not giving in.

How does the Narcissist try to control you?

Narcissists thrive by controlling others, thus here are a few ways in which a narcissist would establish their control over their victims,

They Isolate you

Narcissists are like emotional termites, they may not show that they are trying to isolate you from others to outgrow all the relationships in your life. They may weaken all your bonds and before you know all you are left with is the narcissist and their manipulation. They do this to establish their control.

They Love Bomb

Showering you with unasked attention, extra love, and care, the narcissist is love-bombing you to gain a grip over you. This might not seem like a toxic move until you realize that you are stuck in a toxic relationship on a loop.

By Belittling you

The passive-aggressive side of the narcissist would enforce such harsh comments upon you when they lose their control over the situation, you, and everything around them. Your goals, your growth, or your development would mean nothing to them, as it may not be beneficial to them.

The narcissists are only concerned about themselves and thus they may always belittle you, crash your self-confidence, and make you feel worthless when they are unable to control you and the situations related to you.

They make lofty promises

A relationship with a narcissist may seem like an endless journey filled with roadblocks that include emotional turmoil, chaos, negativity, devaluing, fakeness, false promises, and so on. Victims might be hoping for them to change and uplift the relationship but little do they know it is all going in vain as the narcissist is not changing, it is all shallow promises and surface-level changes.

They Discard you

Unlike the classic “narcissistic Discard”, this discard is temporary or a filler to gain control. The narcissist might block you, or stop responding to your texts or receiving your calls, and would try everything to avoid you. They do this just to gain control, power, and attention, or unless you beg them to give you some attention. This ensures their supply is intact.

10 Annoying Reactions Of A Narcissist When They Cannot Control You

When a narcissist loses control, they may have the most obnoxious reactions, which may make you anxious and may leave you in an overwrought state. Their reactions may be edgy, and thus you may need to be prepared to face them. Each narcissist would react differently, but here are the 10 most generic reactions that may help you figure out their uncanny retorts.

They may go on a smear campaign

The Narcissist’s Smear Campaign is a manipulative tactic to stain someone’s reputation. Narcissists can lie bluntly to save themselves.

When the narcissist loses control over you, they spread a smear campaign just to control the situation. They establish control over how other people perceive you. This is an indirect form of punishment that they use just to get back at you whenever they feel they have been wronged and their mask of false goody image might drop off and their real toxic selves might be revealed by you. This is when they spread a smear campaign.

They smear their victims’ reputations when they can no longer control them or want to seek revenge just because things did not go as planned for them. Narcissists may go on smear campaigns to primarily hurt their victims and also to shield their toxic behavior. When a narcissist feels rejected or vulnerable, they may engage in activities that can restore their control and power.

They may react with an outward rage

Narcissistic rage is a counter-reaction or a defense mechanism utilized by a narcissist to guard themselves and their grandiose image.

They even use rage to establish their superiority, control, power, and self-worth, and thus safeguard their perfect spotless image. Narcissistic rage is like a shield that protects the narcissist from the arrows or spears of setbacks, shame, inefficiency, disappointment, vulnerabilities, and anything that can devalue their worth.

Narcissistic rage can be toxic and something you may never wish to face, as it may leave you shaken for days. When the narcissist loses control, they can be harshly spoken and may scar your mental well-being with their cruel words.

They may react with an inward rage

Inward rage usually refers to passive aggression. A passive-aggressive person might act overtly but express their anger covertly.

This means they might not display directly that they are angry, but their aggression might take an indirect form, which may include giving you a cold shoulder, obstructing your work or what you want, treating you with a silent treatment, being a prick whenever you badly need their help, and making you furious by acting indifferently indirectly.

A narcissistic person might often seem cool, calm, and charming on the outside or in public but they may be reflecting some passive-aggressive traits and getting on your nerves which only you might realize. They might appear guiltless publically, but they might be torturing you with indirect patterns of hostility or malice. Thus when they lose control, you may have to face the narcissist’s passive aggression.

More Love Bombing

In an unhealthy relationship love bombing technique is often taken into practice to cover up mistakes, to recover the lost relationships, or when anything goes wrong, or to manipulate the partner with the help of tender or cliched play of words, actions, along with pompous effective gestures.

Narcissists use this tactic effectively to brainwash their victims by flooding their victims with extreme love and affection and withholding the same just to manipulate them to establish power and control later.

By Stonewalling

Stonewalling is not just an ordinary manipulative tactic or a form of silent treatment, it is an efficient level tactic used by the narcissist to ignore you, and that too with dead-set persistence. Stonewalling refers to avoiding someone deliberately and withholding reactions, information, and responses from them. It is a defense mechanism that may be used to establish and maintain the power dynamics in a relationship.

Stonewalling is not just limited to ignoring you, they may treat you just like a stranger. So when you try to establish any sort of communication, they would simply walk away like they never heard anything or you just do not exist fi them. So when they lose control, or you may have challenged their authority, they would do so to regain control over you.

By Betraying You

When a narcissist is led down by you and they lose control over you, the first thing they may do is disclose your secrets or intimate memories and belongings publically. You may regret sharing any information with them.

So when you try to break free from the relationship, all they do is threaten you by establishing a fear of exposing you publically. All your trust may come down crashing, as they would betray you by sharing your private affairs with others.

They may find another Supply

When a narcissist loses their grip over others, they may find someone with whom they can be controlling. If you have been discarded by the narcissist, it is time for you to realize that they have found a new source for procuring their supply.

Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior. Narcissistic supply is one of the prime reasons for them to commit to a relationship. If the narcissist is not getting supply from you, they may immediately switch on to someone else and woo them.

They may hoover

If you have successfully distanced yourself from the narcissist, they may try different ways to lure you back into the toxic relationship just to regain their power and control.

As much as we would like to believe that a relationship with a narcissist is over once we decide to leave, it is often not the case. Narcissists often engage in a tactic known as hoovering, where they attempt to suck their victims back into their lives, even after they have left just to re-establish their control.

With Self Pity

Self-victimization and self-pity are two strong weapons that make the narcissist’s manipulation game stronger. Once the relationship ends, they may try to re-establish the same, by pitying their life. They may often provide shallow statements like, “My life has become as empty as a shell after you left me” or “My parents miss you as much as I do”.

After ending things with the narcissist, when you try to move on from the toxic relationship, they may approach you with a motive to establish their control or their reign over you all over again.

They may Stalk you

When you try to break free from the narcissist’s strong grip and controlling habits, the narcissist will not let go of this easily. They may stalk you. It may start with a simple flower on your doorstep, to following you to your workplace. It may also include being followed and stalked on social media platforms or showing up at places that you may visit. They may also interrupt your date or even your work tour.

If you feel that the stalking is overwhelming and troublesome for you to some extent, you may seek help from someone reliable or even file a legal complaint for cyberstalking or harassment.

How to gain your control back?

A narcissist may try to control you unless you allow it. Your well-being is in your hands, so recognize the abusive patterns in the relationship and make a decision that is in your favor and ensures your well-being.

Here are a few ways to gain back control,

Go No-Contact if you can

The “No contact” is your way of saying “Just Not anymore” to the narcissistic abuse, the violence in case, the manipulative tactics, and being used as a pawn. The No Contact phase” means going off-reach with them be it by deleting or blocking them on social media, blocking their phone number, and even giving them the silent treatment.

Set Boundaries

Another important step to stop the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse is to set up clear and firm boundaries. This means being clear about what you will and will not tolerate from the narcissist. This is the first step to taking your power back. Setting boundaries helps you protect your time, space, and mental health.

Make your own decisions

Controlling people usually make choices for you, but they do not have the best interest. Do what is best for your well-being and what makes you happy.

Final Thoughts

Do not blame yourself if you are somehow stuck in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. It is not easy to resist a narcissist’s charm. Make sure that you are well aware of their controlling tactics and respond to those efficiently.

A narcissist may try to control you unless you allow it. Your well-being is in your hands, so recognize the abusive patterns in the relationship and make a decision that is in your favor and ensures your well-being.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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