21 Answers To The Question – What Do Narcissists Want?

Just one simple question, “What do Narcissists want?”, but there are multiple answers to understand this question precisely. Narcissists can be some of the complicated and tricky individuals with a traumatic past, that may have molded them into being such complex human beings. They can be unpredictable and thus understanding their wants and needs can be difficult.

You may be in a dilemma if you have a narcissistic partner as to what they want from you or in general because they are never satisfied with whatever you provide them with emotionally, physically, and even in terms of a fulfilled relationship.

Narcissists constantly have this duality in their personality that gives hot and cold vibes. One moment they would be this super caring and loving partner and the next they would act distant like they do not even know you exist in their world. This is called having a hot and hot personality where a person’s duality can confuse those around them. They expect a lot from a relationship, be it with a family member, a romantic interest, or someone they plan to get acquainted with.

Being with them may feel like suffering a brain fog as their behavior may be baffling and it may fill your head with hazy thoughts. The term “Narcissist” has been in the limelight these days. A person can be recognized as a narcissistic individual only after being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

Everybody possesses a few narcissistic traits, but unlike all; narcissists have a constant urge to manipulate others for their gains, seek attention, admiration, and validation from others, play mind games, and also with their emotions. They are self-centered and lack empathy and thus they have unresolved relationship issues.

They view others merely as a means to gain a narcissistic supply and solely gain benefits, be it physical, emotional, or monetary. Thus dealing with them and understanding them can be unyielding.

Now let us get to the questions and answers session, to gain answers to the question, “What Do Narcissists Want?”,

21 Answers To The Question – What Do Narcissists Want?

Here are 21 altering questions with answers to find and understand one praiseworthy explanation regarding what narcissists want for all intents and purposes,

1. What do Narcissists want?

Narcissists want a Narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic supply can be referred to as a psychological concept, that is related to Narcissistic Personality Disorder and people suffering through it. Narcissistic supply is a need or an indirect demand from narcissists to acquire attention, validation, and admiration from others.

Narcissists obtain their narcissistic supply from people around them which may include family members, partners, children, colleagues, friends, or anyone associated closely with them who may serve some sort of purpose for them in the given circumstance of their life.

Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior. Narcissistic supply is one of the prime reasons for them to get into a relationship.

A narcissistic supply is anything and everything that makes a narcissist feel accomplished, feeds their ego, and keeps them contrived in an insincere manner. This can include money, fame, compliments, false appreciation, a perfect family or an image of a perfect family, a prestigious career and fulfilled life, or a grandiose social image. You can never know what makes a narcissist feel satisfied.

2. What do narcissists want in a partner?

Narcissists certainly have some specific preconditions that they wish to have in their partners. There is a certain set of rules that narcissists checklist before getting involved with anyone.

Narcissists often have a long list of traits and things that their partners should possess. They have the most complex personalities, and thus their needs are also complex regarding their partners. Their needs and requirements for their partners are rooted in the traits that they have been lacking or the traits that may be desirable for them.

A few things that a narcissist may want in a partner include,

  • Someone who sacrifices their own emotional needs
  • Someone who promotes the image they want to project
  • Someone who always may be responsible
  • Somebody highly Empathetic
  • Someone who is easily prone to guilt, resentment, and a fear of losing them

3. What do narcissists want in a relationship?

All a narcissist wants in a relationship is someone who is completely for them, with them, and all theirs.

They may never truly be able to involve themselves in the relationship as all they prioritize is themselves. Their main goal is their personal well-being, growth, happiness, grandiosity, public image, and everything that comes to their benefit and thus the relationship may feel narcissist-oriented as all you do is for them. You would always be fulfilling their desires, expectations, and wishes.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you might have a labyrinthine relationship with them.

4. What do narcissists want sexually?

Most Narcissists have high sex drives and thus love physical intimacy.

They do not form intimate relationships based on genuine feelings, but they simply get into a physical relationship just to gain something. Narcissists have altogether different approaches towards sex. They may not get involved sexually with someone out of love or affection but only to fulfill their own needs and to feel powerful, influential, and seek pleasure.

Also, Narcissistic traits can have a significant impact on all areas of life and a relationship, especially a healthy relationship that may have intimacy. Narcissism can also affect sexual intimacy between partners.

5. What do narcissists want from their exes?

If you have a narcissistic ex, your relationship is never completely broken off, there may still be some loose ends, through which the narcissist could enter your life once again.

Some individuals; especially Narcissistic individuals can not bear the consequences of breaking that separation part and hence decide to befriend their exes, not because they would miss them or something but because they would do so to continuously seek advantage of their exes. They also wish that their ex remains a source of their validation, admiration, and attention even after ending the relationship.

6. What do narcissists want to hear?

Narcissists only listen to you when they are being praised, appreciated, or cherished.

Narcissists eagerly listen when something feeds their ego, makes them the center of attention, or boosts their grandiose image. But if you have to criticize them or say anything bad about them, they will be long gone.

7. Why do Narcissists want to control You?

Narcissists thrive by controlling others.

Narcissists are characterized by a strong desire to control others, due to a lack of empathy. Controlling others and overpowering them are such toxic traits that narcissists or anyone who is controlling may implement over others. Thus narcissism and control go hand in hand.

8. Why do narcissists want you back?

Many Narcissists would not like to make the effort to find a new supply, so in such cases, they would come back to their ex rather than deal with the hassles of finding a new supply.

The narcissist might want you back for the affection you had for them as they crave attention and affection. They might miss the validation for their fake, unreal, and dual personality, they might miss what you did for them, how you made them feel, and the physical intimacy.

9. Why do Narcissists always come back to Old Relationships?

Even after breaking up with you, narcissists would want to keep their exes as a backup to obtain their supply, so when they run out of supply they would come back to their old relationships.

Narcissists would check in with your vulnerabilities and when they see you struggling or in hardships that is when they would lure you again. They would come back in your weaker or rough times so that you easily accept them again, forgetting the toxic memories of the abusive past you had with them.

10. Do narcissists want what you have?

Narcissists usually target their victims based on what they have.

Yes! A narcissist would want to be with you or want something that you might have in terms of money, fame, status social influence, or anything that you have and they do not. So they would want what you have.

11. Do Narcissists want what they cannot have?

“It is the prohibition that makes anything precious.” – Mark Twain

“Forbidden fruit is everyone’s meal.”

Narcissists are not exceptional to this saying, and thus they also want what they cannot have. They would double their efforts as they believe that there is nothing that they cannot have. They are entitled to everything.

12. Do narcissists want to be alone?

Why would the exploiter like to be alone?

Narcissists do not want and like to be alone because if there is no one whom would they be exploiting? They would be alone only when they need some space, otherwise, they want someone continuously to validate, appreciate, and adore them.

13. Do narcissists want to be liked?

Who does not like it when admired?

Narcissists like it more when their partners or targets admire them but not to the extent that they start taking them for granted. They also wish that victims fear them, and thus they like being liked but also like it when they’re feared too.

14. Do narcissists want revenge?

A narcissistic injury does make the narcissist want revenge.

When their behavior is doubted, deep-rooted insecurities and doubts emerge from the facade, making them vulnerable. This situation enforces their urge to seek revenge against the imposed, harming their self-esteem causing emotional injury, and making them feel threatened.

15. Do narcissists want sympathy?

Sympathy is a form of attention, so the narcissist craves it.

Narcissists like sympathy as it is a form of attention. But do not fall for their trap, as they may be just telling a faux pity story to gain sympathy sometimes. They know that the best way to play with human emotions is by gaining sympathy and making them feel sorry. When someone is in a pity state they can gain whatever they want and they do exactly this.

16. Do Narcissists want to be loved?

They want to be loved but they cannot reciprocate the intensity. NEVER!

They love being loved until they do not have to reciprocate.

Narcissists have a different definition of love or they are different in approach to love. As their relationships are based on transactions (i.e. until they can gain from you)they may never truly understand the normal meaning of love as we perceive and expect. They may love you in the way that they understand love.

17. Do narcissists want to hurt you?

When you oppose them or stand up against them, you may have to face their rage along with a consequence.

When the false, exaggerated, and inflated self of the narcissist is threatened, this causes them a narcissistic injury.

The way narcissists react or respond to narcissistic injury is cruel. They may devalue that person and might mistreat them as if they are inhuman. Their behavior may cause lifelong trauma for the person who caused them narcissistic injury.

18. Why do narcissists want to be friends with their exes?

Narcissists are self-centered, and thus they use people as if they are emotionless robots.

Narcissists like to maintain friendships with exes, as they believe that anyone can be useful at any point in time and thus they stay in touch. In case they run out of supply and also part ways with their current partners, their exes can come in handy at such times.

19. Do narcissists want a divorce?

Divorce is an easy option for a narcissist to run away from responsibilities.

Though not narcissists would like to be divorced, it depends. If a narcissist has found someone better and they are ready to settle in then they might divorce you. But if they are not yet done with you or willing to continue the relationship as they do not want the trouble of seeking someone else then they may continue the relationship.

20. What narcissists do not want you to know?

Narcissists never wish to reveal their true toxic selves.

Narcissists have a reputation for being the most difficult people you may ever come across. Their real identities are perfectly concealed with their charming and deceiving personalities. They are delusional and they are experts at deceiving others with their charming, charismatic convincing personalities.

21. Do narcissists want to change?

Narcissism and change hardly fit into the same sentence.

Due to their boosted sense of self-importance, a narcissist would never feel the need to change or alter their personalities. Also, narcissists are alarmed by the term “Change” as changes usually come with changing your conduct.

They usually do not like change as change threatens their sense of superiority, control, and power. They would usually try to resist changes in their life only to maintain their grandiosity, sense of entitlement, power, control, and fake personality.

On a final note

If you are with a Narcissist, and you feel the toxicity is beyond your tolerance, leaving them would be a way to save yourself from the torture. They may not truly be able tp see you for who you are as they are self-absorbed. So leaving them could be better fo you as you may be able to find someone better.

Ending a relationship with a narcissist requires careful planning, boundaries, and support. Remember that you deserve to be in a healthy, respectful relationship, and do not let anyone convince you otherwise.

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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