5 Traits Narcissists Want In A Romantic Partner

What traits do narcissists want in a romantic partner? To impress a narcissist, you may need to provide them with more than just attention. Thus possessing some likable traits may come in handy. Here are some traits Narcissists want in a Romantic Partner.

If your love interest is a narcissist that you may be willing to impress, you might want to stop here and read through this article, as these 5 traits mentioned below may help you win over the narcissist that you might be smitten with.

Narcissists certainly have some specific preconditions that they wish to have in their partners. There is a certain set of rules that narcissists checklist before getting involved with anyone.

Narcissists have a concise span of attention and may also easily get bored with their partners, once the charm of the new relationship is over. What about when the relationship spans a long time?

Narcissists have always been represented as someone who cheats or someone who may have multiple partners or various relationships, but not everyone can be judged on a generic basis. Having a close relationship with someone who is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder is often presented as a problematic relationship according to psychology experts.

Narcissists have different psychological needs thus based on those needs they choose partners who can fulfill all those needs. Thus they may expect a lot from their partners. This makes it difficult for their victims as expectations may cause stress, anxiety, and confusion. Thus having a relationship with a narcissist can be bothersome for them.

Undeniably, narcissists can be some of the most amazing and worst dating partners you can ever come across. While anyone can possess and does possess narcissistic traits on a spectrum, according to DSM 5, (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), people with a few specific traits on a full-fledged level can be tagged as narcissists thus they can be diagnosed for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissists often have a long list of traits and things that their partners should possess. Having such traits can make you a potential and desirable partner for narcissists. Narcissists have the most complex personalities, and thus their needs are also complex regarding their partners.

Their needs and requirements for their partners are rooted in the traits that they have been lacking or the traits that may be desirable for them.

So what are those traits that the narcissist is drawn to?

5 Traits Narcissists Want In A Romantic Partner

Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them. They thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is selfish and mean.

Thus evaluating a narcissistic relationship based on their needs, one may think that attention, adoration, or validation would be the traits that they may desire the most from their partners. But these are not among the most generic traits that the narcissist may look for in their partners. They may be more attracted psychologically to people who possess,

Denying or Sacrificing their own emotional needs

Narcissists lack empathy and thus it makes it difficult for them to make sacrifices. They may be unable to sacrifice their needs or give up on their desires for the benefit and betterment of others. Thus they may seek someone who would readily make sacrifices for them.

Individuals who take responsibility, think for others before themselves, focus on other people’s needs more ignore their own needs, or care for others selflessly often catch the narcissist’s eye. Narcissistic relationships are selfish and desire-driven, thus they seek someone who selflessly thinks about the narcissist, does things for them, and also supports them emotionally no matter what.

There is not much space left in the relationship for yourself when you are with a narcissist as they require you to focus on their needs rather than yours. Thus someone who denies or sacrifices their own emotional needs for the sake of the narcissist in their life often catches the narcissist’s attention.

Prone to Guilt

Narcissists often have a victim mentality and thus need someone in their life who would take the blame for them or would simply accept their fate as they are emotional and feel strongly for others. They are drawn to individuals who are easily prone to feelings like guilt, repentance, and sorrow. They like someone apologetic no matter what.

People who are prone to guilt are often emotionally complex as they are sensitive, and thus they feel deeply for others. Such people would accept the fault without second-guessing someone else. This particular trait comes in handy for narcissists as they are experts at blame-shifting, and someone who is vulnerable suits perfectly for the role of the culprit.

Such vulnerable individuals are often an easy target to establish control and manipulate. The chances of such guilt-prone individuals leaving the narcissist are slim or none. Thus such individuals may easily be chosen by the narcissist.

Promoting the image they want to project

Narcissists and their vulnerability for their self-image are unmatched. They can do anything to maintain their perfect, spotless image and also wish to find someone who makes them look good, matches their image, and can gain them a good reputation. Having a good and prestigious self-image is important for individuals with narcissistic personality disorder.

As narcissists thrive upon external validation, and admiration from others, their self-image matters a lot to them. They have an inflated ego which gives them boosted confidence, and to maintain that confidence they need an image that can pump up their personality. A positive self-image helps them maintain a grandiose perception of themselves and thus allows them to feel superior to others.

Narcissists are emotionally shallow, and thus they lead a life knitted on grandiose lies. They have deep-rooted feelings of unworthiness and vulnerability, which even pushes them further to maintain a grandiose self-image to help them hide the rejection, criticism, or failure they might face in their lives.

It also acts as a defense mechanism for them while facing a downfall, criticism, or blame. Thus a good self-image serves many purposes for them, so having someone by them who also supports their image and even makes it stronger puts them in a win-win situation.

Highly Empathetic

People usually tend to cover up all their bad deeds, negative behavior, and toxicity by making it behind their lack of empathy. Lack of empathy is said to be one of the peculiar traits of a narcissistic individual or people suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But that is not entirely true for that matter.

A narcissist is capable of feeling all emotions, it is just that they do not acknowledge them and express them due to their vulnerabilities. They fear expressing emotions can make them emotionally weak and vulnerable and might create a weaker image in front of others. They fear that once they surrender to their feelings they might lose control and power.

It is a human tendency to crave something that we may be lacking. Narcissists do not lack empathy altogether but it is just like a tool for them to seek validation and feel emotionally secure. Thus nacisists are often attracted to empaths or people who have high levels of empathy.

Such empathetic people often validate the narcissist’s feelings making them more visible and important in the relationship. They can be the exact persona whom they might have projected. Highly empathetic people make easy targets for them as they make them feel valued, validated, and important.

Feeling responsible for others

Narcissists are attracted to individuals who often feel responsible for others. Narcissists have deep-rooted insecurities, fears, and buried feelings that may be the cause of the trauma they might have faced. These negative feelings force them to maintain their perfect goody image and also build their entire personality around that. They have a fragile ego and even a small scratch can cause much damage to their fake persona.

Thus they become reliant on their romantic partners to feed their ego and to make them feel important, valuable, visible, and special in the relationship. Narcissists seek partners who feel responsible for them as they can tolerate more. Thus people who can worship and devote themselves to the narcissist become the favourite kind for them.

Why are relationships with narcissists so difficult and complex?

All a narcissist wants or expects from all relationships, be it a personal or intimate relationship, be it with family or be it a professional relationship, is a way to deal with their own complex emotions without being responsible for them.

They project their insecurities, complexities, and toxicity on you which does not leave any option for the victim but to phase or bear such manipulations because, in a victim’s eyes, the narcissist’s behavior is completely irrational and without any context of why they are doing so!

Narcissists tend to self-loathe and hide the true dark sides of their personalities which include hatred behind their toxic and manipulative tactics. They are so inclined to not take responsibility for what they feel and thus they make you the target and hold you responsible for all the emotional and mental health complexities they go through. They project all their anger, hatred, and intentions onto the people they deal with or include in their lives.

Narcissists prefer to be seen as nearly perfectly casted beings. They are full of themselves. So they would do everything to avoid any mishap that could spoil their nearly perfect image. They are just lustrous on the outside but very dark on the inside as they hide all their realities and live in a world made of falseness and fake facades.

Relationships are a narcissist’s way of releasing or diverting all their anger, emotional turmoil, hatred, and toxicity, otherwise, they would just go crazy or explode with all that emotional disturbance inside. They need a release and relationships are their gateway. And that is the reason why a narcissist can replace you easily and quickly move on to their next relationship without even blinking.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists constantly have this duality in their personalities, that gives hot and cold vibes. One moment they would be this super caring and loving partner and the next moment they would be acting all distant like they do not even know that you exist in their world. This is called having a hot and hot personality where a person’s duality can confuse those around them. They expect a lot from a relationship, be it with a family member, a romantic interest, or someone they plan to get acquainted with.

But if you truly love the narcissist in your life, then having or developing these above-mentioned traits can be helpful to catch their attention!

Ella Carrillo

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field. From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

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