10 Truths Narcissists Want To Hide From You
Here are some Truths Narcissists want to hide from you, according to experts. Narcissists hide behind their fake personalities, and why do they do this? They do this to protect their dark, and unlikable side as they always wish to seek admiration, attention, and validation from others.
To understand what the narcissist wishes to hide from you, you must understand how narcissism may affect a person and the people around them,
Everybody possesses a few narcissistic traits, but unlike all; narcissists have a constant urge to manipulate others for their gains, seek attention, admiration, and validation from others, play mind games, and also with their emotions. They are self-centered and lack empathy and thus they have unresolved relationship issues.
While anyone can possess and does possess narcissistic traits on a spectrum, according to DSM 5, (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), people with a few specific traits on a full-fledged level can be tagged as narcissists thus they can be diagnosed for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Let us get to know a narcissist briefly,
A narcissist is someone who is often characterized by the trait of being extremely self-absorbed. They hardly think about others. They always prioritize their self and their needs above others. They have a high sense of self-importance, so much so that they might even ignore their, partner, children, or even parents. Thus it can be concluded, that narcissists only care for themselves, their needs and desires, and their wishes.
They only form relationships when there is some benefit. They may have transactional relations where they seek narcissistic supply in the form of attention, admiration, and validation. Having any kind of relationship is always a one-sided effort as narcissists only know to receive and never give anything.
To detach yourself from a narcissistic relationship is difficult as these relationships are toxic. To detangle yourself from such bonds you may need help, strong will, and hardcore support from friends and family.
Narcissists are experts at mind games and manipulative tactics and thus their reality stays behind the walls. You may be a victim but they prove otherwise. Thus here are the 10 truths the narcissist may not wish to reveal,
10 Truths Narcissists want to hide from You
These truths are about to come as a shock to the readers, as you might already be facing this or have experienced at some point in time with the narcissist,
1. They may try to keep you in the relationship but not out of love
You may have decided to part ways with your narcissistic partner, and soon you may come to a realization that they are troubling and interrupting in all ways possible. They may keep coming back to you for most trivial reasons. They may try to convince you with false promises so do not get overwhelmed and fall into their trap of sweet talk and no action.
They may not be back to you because they love you, or wish to have a healthy relationship with you, but because they wish to maintain their control. So when you end things with them, they seem to lose control. They may not be able to bear this as they wish to have a final say in the relationship. This is what an abusive bond looks like. They may be back to you to gain some benefits and not because they missed you or loved you.
2. They would make substantial promises of being a changed person, but all in vain
Narcissists are experts in making fake promises. They would try to convince you with truth-coated lies, but it may all be in vain as their promises are just a web of promising words and no actions. Once you fall into their word trap you may find that their words were mere words and no actions.
They may also indirectly be blaming you through their fake promises. If a promise sounds something like, “I had to go through your phone. It would not have happened if you were more honest with me. Let’s try to be more transparent with each other.” They would also promise to be more honest but also be blaming you for being dishonest, both in a sentence.
3. It does not hurt them when they hurt you
Narcissists would never hesitate to hurt you or may be affected when they inflict pain on you. They are self-centered and lack empathy. So if you have somehow disappointed them, they would do anything to make you realize that you have let them down or hurt them.
They may hurt you on purpose without blinking. They may use harsh words. They may also hurt you if it makes them feel empowered. They may hurt you on purpose to feel self-satisfied. They may also not be sorry for their behavior but rather would enjoy your tears.
4. They want you to feel like “THE BAD GUY” in the relationship
They may be the problem, they would want you to think that you are the core of all their problems. You are the bad guy in a so-called good relationship.
You are the cause, you make them go crazy in rage, you make them feel unloved, you manifest problems in their paths, you bring them bad news, you do not communicate, you are unhappy which disturbs their happiness, you are the negative force of the relationship or you are not enough for them.
They would blame you for their misfortune, sorrows, and everything that may not be going according to their plan in life. If they transfer the blame, they always stay on the positive side of the relationship and gain the upper hand. They feel this way they can control and navigate the relationship as they wish.
5. No matter what, they do not want to lose control
Narcissists are characterized by a strong desire to control others, due to a lack of empathy. Controlling others and overpowering them are such toxic traits that narcissists or anyone who is controlling may implement over others. Thus narcissism and control go hand in hand.
Narcissists thrive by controlling others. Their greatest fear is losing control. The best way to free yourself from their grip is by setting boundaries. The firmer the boundaries, the more they lose their control. They may act out and will try to break your boundaries but do not give in. This is your chance to free yourself from the abuse.
6. They can never be proven wrong
You might have noticed, that when you get into an argument with a narcissist, they always have out of the box counter arguments. They are ace gaslighters. Their manipulation game is so strong that you may be deceived by their arguments.
Do not get into debates or arguments with the narcissist for the topics you are unsure about. They may always have something or the other to say to your statement if you try to blame them for their mistakes you may end up hearing, “According to you I am always the culprit. Thank you for the reality check, and the blame.
7. They do not want you to know that you are lovable to have power in the relationship
You may have noticed that your narcissistic partner may always be trying to make you feel inferior, small, powerless, unlovable, worthless, or unimportant in the relationship. This is how they keep you under control and are the ones with power who are perfect and greater to you in every aspect. They would try to establish this every chance they get.
They want to keep you unaware of the fact that you are lovable, perfect, and amazing the way you are. Thus they always criticize, mock, or comment on you just to be the invincible partner in the relationship by devaluing you.
8. Their words would never match their actions
The narcissist would never want to let you know, but their words would never match their actions. Your hopes may crumble, your trust may be trampled but their actions may always be poles apart from their words. They make fake promises, fake apologies, and even a fake persona.
They can stoop to their lowest behavior to maintain control, feel powerful, and win arguments. They would make you feel emotionally unsafe, mentally unsteady, and physically weak by inflicting harm. They may also abuse you sexually to keep you under their trap.
9. They see all emotional reactions as a form of attention
Narcissists have this boosted sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a constant need to gain attention, admiration, and validation from others. They would never leave a chance to gain these even if it means creating drama and choosing chaos. They would do anything to get an emotional reaction from you. This would make them powerful and also thrilled as their one move or one statement can create chaos in your life.
The best way to get back at them is by keeping your reactions minimal to maybe a nod, a head swing to deny, or just a smile when you agree or even disagree. This will drive them impatient and crazy. To save yourself from chaotic situations just walk away from them and limit your access to them.
10. All they want from you is a narcissistic supply
They do not want to form a deep bond with you, all they want is a narcissistic supply. Narcissists would keep the relationship going just to feel special, loved, and important. The relationship may also feel one-sided as they hardly involve themselves emotionally.
Narcissists want a Narcissistic supply and that’s all they want from a relationship.
Narcissists obtain their narcissistic supply from people around them which may include family members, partners, children, colleagues, friends, or anyone associated closely with them who may serve some sort of purpose for them in the given circumstance of their life.
Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior. Narcissistic supply is one of the prime reasons for them to get into a relationship.
A narcissistic supply is anything and everything that makes a narcissist feel accomplished, feeds their ego, and keeps them contrived in an insincere manner. This can include money, fame, compliments, false appreciation, a perfect family or an image of a perfect family, a prestigious career and fulfilled life, or a grandiose social image. You can never know what makes a narcissist feel satisfied.
These are a few things that a narcissist in your life would never want to disclose. Their abuse, manipulation, and toxicity allow them to keep these hidden. But how long can something be hidden or suppressed? Their true face would always be revealed in some of the situations.
So if you have a narcissist in your life and suffering the abuse, in hopes of expecting them to change, then you may want to reconsider your thoughts and the relationship for that matter.
It would be best if you part ways with the narcissist and someone who believes that you are enough the way you are and sees your worth.