11 Signs Of Narcissism
The term “Narcissism” has gained popularity in searches, on social media, over talk shows, in clinical research, and high and low everywhere where you could connect with different types of people.
Narcissism is widespread nowadays, with feelings like stress, anxiety, and depression being a common part of people’s lifestyles. But what is narcissism? Let us know the signs of narcissism.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition that is medically and clinically diagnosable to tag someone as a narcissist. Narcissists have unreasonably higher sense of self so much so that they might not care about anything else but themselves.
So if you are living with a narcissist you must understand how their psychology works. They have a stronger sense of self due to which they have traits like feeling entitled, having grandiose self-esteem, need for validation and praise, and an urge to manipulate people around them for their benefit.
They may never accept their behavior to be abusive, and they may always play the victim when you point out the obvious. they may also hurt you emotionally for confronting them, as they lack empathy. Due to their personality traits, they may be unable to understand other people’s perspectives and thus end up hurting them frequently. They may never understand other people’s feelings, emotions, and viewpoints.
NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) or Narcissism is related to portraying some common toxic traits in an intensified state than others. In psychological terms, narcissists who suffer from NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) portray these emotions and traits in a greater magnitude than others. These emotions include a boosted sense of self-importance, inflated self-worth, and a constant need for admiration, adoration, and validation.
11 Signs Of Narcissism
Narcissism is a personality disorder that is a clinically proven mental health illness, which requires a diagnosis to claim someone as a narcissist. Narcissism comes with a lot many behavioral traits and it just cannot be defined by simply one trait. Let us know a list of traits that define narcissism,
Exaggerated need for attention and validation
Narcissists are always in search of validation and attention from others. No matter how much you love them, your love may never be enough for them. They may need your constant undivided attention. When your attention, interest, or focus is divided into other life priorities, they may be annoyed.
Their manipulative behavior may trick you and you may form an unhealthy and toxic connection which is transactional. If you provide them with what they desire, you may have a good relationship, but as soon as your preferences change, you may face their anger and dissatisfaction.
Thus narcissists are always in search of admiration, attention, and validation to boost their egos, and thus whatever you give them is never enough for them.
Lack of Boundaries
Narcissists do not acknowledge and go along the concepts of personal space, and personal boundaries. When it comes to their partners, family members, friends, or loved ones, narcissists need to know everything and they may interfere with your decisions. They see their children as an extension of themselves and their partners as their alter egos, thus they may be unable to see them as individuals with personal needs.
They may not acknowledge where they end and you begin, for them all entities around them can be controlled by them and they need to be the sole authority to guide everyone around them. They lack the maturity to understand that people around them would not like to be controlled.
A narcissist would feel rejected and disappointed when you build your personal space through boundaries. Thus narcissists do not like when people safeguard their well-being and ignore the narcissist’s needs.
You may wish the narcissist would understand the negative and painful effects of their toxic behavior on you. Unfortunately, that wish would never turn into a fulfilled plan as narcissists hardly change. They may refuse to acknowledge the fact that they are wrong or their behavior can hurt someone.
When you try to explain to the narcissist how their behavior is negatively affecting you, they may avoid the topic or make a shallow promise to change. Thus narcissists make decisions based on how they feel, what they want, and how it may benefit them. Their perspective starts from their well-being and ends right there. They may never think about how others may be affected by their behavior thus they lack emotional reasoning and a wider vision for different perspectives.
The life of a narcissistic individual revolves around the fear of being exposed. They have deep-rooted fears, insecurities, and anxieties. They also fear rejection, mockery, and the terror of being wrong. They may have multiple fears that may include fear of being imperfect, inadequate, abandoned, appearance, loss, and being betrayed.
As narcissists age, they lose their charm to lure people in, resulting in isolation and fear of being alone. They may be preoccupied with their appearance which is withering away with age.
Narcissists fear intimacy, vulnerability, and openness in the relationship. They may fear getting closer to others as they may be worried that others might figure out their imperfect sides and reject them. Narcissists have low self-esteem and thus they fear what others may think of them.
Narcissists have a constant fear that they might be disliked by others or they might be repudiated by others if they do not maintain their grandiose self-image. They keep on doubting themselves due to trauma and an underlying fear of abandonment. They feel they always need to prove themselves for people to like them.
Narcissists lack empathy and do not feel remorse for their actions. While a narcissist may be able to display fake remorse as a part of their manipulative tactics, just to maintain their grandiose image. Their narcissistic traits hardly allow them to feel real emotions, so they fake them most of the time just to maintain their image.
As a narcissist is self-centered, they might not be able to experience genuine emotions and thus they are unable to provide convincing emotional responses. Thus they exploit other people’s genuine emotions by providing fake apologies and displaying superficial shame and remorse.
Narcissists can regret or feel shame but it is in a very superficial state. Their remorse, regrets, shame, and guilt are not deep-rooted which proves that their repentance is shallow. This ingrained trait of narcissists does not allow them to acknowledge other people’s pain or even allow them to realize that they have hurt someone in most cases.
An inability to work as a part of a team
Cooperation, collaboration, and acceptance are some qualities that a narcissist lacks. All these qualities need a deeper understanding of other people’s feelings and the narcissist lacks all of these. They may never fully understand how to feel, give up, or give in to anything unless it is for their benefit.
They may always want their ways to work. They wish to control people, force them to work as they say, hog credits in the matters of teamwork may never be ready to partner up for things that may not interest them, and may never be able to work well with others in a team or group as their sense of superiority may allow them to believe that nobody is as good as them and whatever they do is just perfect. Other people’s interference may ruin their venture and thus they avoid team projects, group work, or partner activities as they lack cooperation and thoughtfulness.
Superiority and Entitlement
Narcissists live in a black-and-white world where grey holds no place, thus it is either good or bad, right or wrong, superior or inferior, worthy or unworthy, upper or lower, and so on. Of course, narcissists believe that there is a definite hierarchy that begins with them. Them being at the top and everyone else is below them.
They believe that they have to be the best, perfect, unbeatable, the most competent, controlling, and always right. But no one is perfect, yet they feel that they are best even though they may be average.
Narcissistic traits like superiority and entitlement give them this inner push that they need to be the best among the rest.
Blame Deflection and lack of responsibility
Blame shifting is an emotional and manipulative behavior tactic that is used by abusers, especially people who suffer from personality disorders, such as narcissism. When the abuser has difficulty acknowledging the problem that they have created and instead of taking responsibility or blame for what they have done wrong, they accuse the other people around them of having a negative perspective about their efforts, about them, or overall.
So if anything goes wrong it is never really because of them and never their fault. They always find someone to pin the blame on, for instance, they would blame the other students if they are doing a group assignment, or while at the workplace, if a project includes many people, they would instantly blame their colleagues if anything goes wrong for the project.
Lack of Empathy
Narcissists form superficial bonds, that are based on transactional relations due to a lack of empathy. They often form shallow relationships with people with whom they are associated intimately. Their bonds may seem intimate initially, but with time the reality may hit you and you may be able to see the reality of the relationship that you have formed with them.
Narcissists lack empathy, care, emotional bond, and intimacy. They would be emotionally unavailable in their relationships. But they do possess empathy, just for the sake of presenting themselves as someone caring and mature in front of others. They may not understand the actual meaning of empathy, they would just display a certain behavior that may resemble or resonate with empathetic feelings just to boost their image.
Nobody is fully good or fully bad. Everyone is both parts good and bad. According to Yin and Yang, a Chinese philosophy concept, which describes a force is both opposite yet interconnected. Thus humans are guided by forces, so nobody is all bad or good, everyone is both to maintain the balance of the universe.
However, narcissists believe that they are all good and project the bad part on their partners. They would want all good in the relationship, praise, enjoyment, being the best partner, or looting good comments, and all the positive aspects of a relationship. But when it comes to issues, criticism, and negative aspects of the same, they would blame shift those on their partners.
If the issues are minor, they may split the responsibility and accountability. Even if it is fully their fault, they may never accept their wrongdoings and either split it or project it onto their partners.
Anxiety is an emotion that is powered by negative, unpleasant, and troublesome thoughts that may also be responsible for creating emotional turmoil. Anxiety is an anticipated feeling ahead of some event, some life happening or simply related to life that something unpleasant and bad is about to happen.
Everyone is anxious, but narcissists and anxiety are partners in crime. They may always be anxious about their future, project their insecurities about the future, and talk about the doom. While some narcissist hide and suppress their anxious thoughts.
But most narcissists project their anxious thoughts onto their loved ones, accuse them of being responsible for the negativity they bring into the narcissist’s life, and thus blame their partners for whatever negative and troublesome that may be happening in the narcissist’s life. Thus they transfer their anxiety onto their partners and blame them.
As you feel worse and worse the narcissist feels good and better. They feel relaxed and superior the more others feel anxious and depressed by the negative atmosphere they might have built.
Can Narcissism be treated?
Narcissism usually cannot be treated with self-help unless and until a person is determined and strong-willed to get cured as narcissists believe that they are perfect and they do not need any help. It just needs the self-realization that a person lacks something and needs assistance from therapists to keep everything smooth.
Narcissistic Personality disorder is difficult to diagnose. This disorder comes with varied contributing factors. Narcissism cannot be cured, but the degree of narcissism can be hauled down by seeking therapies and getting healed emotionally and psychologically.