7 Tips To Deal With A Narcissistic Roommate
Here are a few tips to deal with a Narcissistic Roommate. You might be here reading this piece of information as you might be fed up with your roommate who may seem overpowering, toxic, manipulative, mean and abusive.
Living in a common space along with your roommate can be both exciting and a fantastic experience in life. This experience can lead you to new friendships and also help you extend your group. You can make life-long memories and develop comradeship that may be cherishable throughout your life.
However, one needs a good cooperative roommate to peacefully share the space. Also, you may also not come across someone who is an ideal roommate, and not all roommate situations are ideal for all. This especially becomes more difficult when that roommate is a narcissist who is self-obsessed, mean, selfish, abusive, toxic, and manipulative.
When this happens, your peace of mind is at stake. Thus the first attempt would be to escape such a roommate and shift, but when that option is no longer available you may have to find more ways to survive with a narcissist, and to do so you may decide to dig up dirt on them.
Living with a narcissist is never easy, especially when you are away from home and only have them as your roommate. Initially, the relationship with them may seem great as they may be friendly, polite, and cooperative.
But soon you may realize that the friendship or comradeship may start to seem to fall apart as the other person (your narcissistic roommate) may start showing their true personality traits.
So how would you recognize someone with narcissistic traits? Let us know the narcissist first along with some characteristics to recognize them, so that you may be able to find ways to deal with them and cope with them.
What is a Narcissist?
Narcissists are someone who is often characterized and peculiar regarding their trait of being self-absorbed. They hardly think about others. They always prioritize their self and their needs above others. They have a high sense of self-importance, so much so that they might even ignore their, partner, children, or even parents. Thus it can be concluded, that narcissists only care for themselves, their needs and desires, and their wishes.
They only form relationships when there is some benefit. They may have transactional relations where they seek narcissistic supply in the form of attention, admiration, and validation. Having any kind of relationship is always a one-sided effort as narcissists only know to receive and never give anything.
So when you come across a narcissistic roommate, you may start by establishing some hardcore boundaries as they may always be trespassing with the matters you specifically told them not to bother, establish strict rules for maintaining privacy as they may always be interfering in your matters, being clear about what behavior will be acceptable and what not.
You may specify everything if you wish to successfully stay in the same room as them. Let us know detailed tips to deal with a narcissistic roommate further.
Characteristics of a Narcissist
Narcissists possess some traits or characteristics that make them a little hard to deal with. Some peculiar narcissistic traits include,
- Lack of sensitivity and empathy.
- Are self-centric.
- Blame others for your mistakes.
- Have unhealthy relations.
- Arrogance and anger is your first reaction to any problems.
- Hate changes and also cannot take them well.
- Are emotionally unstable and unavailable.
- Takes advantage of others easily.
- Are abusive.
- Lack of self-awareness and self-reflection.
- Always expect more from others.
- Boosted sense of self-importance.
- Obsession with image and reputation.
- Tendency to manipulate others mostly by gaslighting them.
- Preoccupation with fantasies of power, success, looks, and money.
Tips To Deal With A Narcissistic Roommate
To live with a narcissist peacefully, you need to be very clear about establishing clear personal boundaries. Also, be mentally prepared for leaving them if you may have to leave them. If unsure here are a few points to make sure,
Recognize the signs
Realizing that you are dealing with a narcissist, is the prime step to dealing with them. Knowing more about narcissism would teach you some ways to deal with your narcissistic roommate without being too noticeable.
Knowing more about Narcissism can help you understand your NPD individuals or anybody with NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) better. This is the best and utmost way to cope with a narcissistic person. You can also learn some amazing tricks and tactics to handle them. This is the best way to teach them the taste of their nasty behavior.
Make yourself a small target
Making yourself a small target means being less accessible to them so that you do not become a victim of their manipulation and abuse. What you may do is start becoming uninterested in their questions or their opinions, do not act impulsively or react to their comments.
Narcissists often choose drama and chaos over a peaceful and respectful relationship. By doing so they wish to take control of situations and the people involved in the situation. Such situations help them create the kind of drama they wish to revel in.
Riling up situations just to aggravate their victims is their power move just to get on your nerves. It is just a part of their toxic game, to get a reaction out of you as this provides them a narcissistic supply.
When dealing with a narcissist, confrontation is always risky and a not-so-good idea unless you decide to leave them for good riddance. Narcissists run away from the truth and they do not like being told about reality. They are not good at dealing with truth, feelings, vulnerabilities, and confrontations.
Confrontations may arouse their wrath and they might make a scene. They would be loud and volatile about being confronted. So rather than confronting them, you may either choose to ignore or just side-track the topic or may even leave it altogether.
So when you have a narcissistic roommate, you may avoid confronting them altogether if you want to make your stay less miserable.
Practice assertive communication
An assertive comminution practice may include avoiding negatively commenting on your roommate, not speaking ill of them, clearly putting your concerns upfront, and establishing boundaries using positive or affirmative language.
Use “I” statements when you feel a need to establish boundaries and use “Us” statements while describing something positive or making affirmations.
Setting boundaries can help you maintain your emotional and mental well-being in the first place. It is not possible entirely to stop the narcissist from bothering you at first, but it is absolutely possible to remind them of the boundaries now and then.
One of the best ways to ensure that your boundaries are not broken is by reinforcing them over and over again and about how to maintain them, then repeating what is acceptable and what is not in front of the people who consistently break your boundaries would help you to maintain them effectively.
Be ready to leave if you have to
You may never know which way your life may make a U-turn when you have a narcissist in your life even if it is in the relation of a roommate. Be prepared mentally and physically to leave them. Keep a stash of cash for emergencies, also do not over-share personal details with them.
In extreme conditions or extreme situations, you may move out of your room or find a way to handle things with the narcissist.
Secure your personal Belongings
Narcissists may never understand the concept of personal space, thus they may be using your things, taking your money, or invading your space of the room without asking for permission.
Keep your storage or cupboards locked, and consider moving your valuables to a safe space, and do not keep your things lying around.
In the case of shared items like furniture, study tables, and such things you may make sure that they understand your boundaries of personal space and equal share and claims over shared spaces and things.
Broaden your views and try to understand their viewpoint
Sometimes understanding their viewpoints might help you understand them better. Narcissists usually prove their worth by constantly doing things but in an elaborate way. They would always add their extra touch to things while working around you. So try to understand them better, and you might also learn some useful tips from them to deal with them as well. Also, this would help in understanding their thinking patterns, their abusive theories, and their toxicity.
The most important step is to understand the abuse and also understand how it is not normal. Then comes the task of recognizing their pattern of abuse, ways of creating drama and a toxic atmosphere, harmful approaches, and responses to your simple questions.
If you are unable to leave the narcissistic roommate, you can always resist them by not responding to them. Ignore them as if you are unaffected by them and their abuse. That is the best way. Creating indifference is the key here.
You can beat narcissist, but not in their ways; in your ways. Do not respond; being unaffected by whatever they do is the most efficient and best way to not be brainwashed by the narcissist.