Why Do Narcissists Constantly Keep You Waiting? (Real Reason)
Why do Narcissists constantly keep you Waiting? If you have a narcissistic partner, family member, friend, or acquaintance you might have always noticed that they might always keep you waiting for them whenever you have any commitment or a plan of meeting them. But have you ever wondered why they would do so every time? Let us know the reasons and also the answer to the question, “Why do Narcissists constantly keep you Waiting?”.
Narcissists often keep others waiting and others also readily wait for them without much protest as they know that arguing with a narcissist might take a toll on their mental health as narcissists are experts in proving everyone wrong, and always proving their argument or point valid or acceptable reason.
So if you have been with a narcissist or any abuser, you might be well aware of the “Abuser’s Waiting Game” that they love to play with their victims. So now, many questions might be popping into your head, “What is the Waiting Game?”, “Why do abusers play the waiting game?”, “Why do abusers keep you waiting?”, “Is it intentional or unintentional?”. Let us get to know more about the abuser’s waiting game and the reasons why they do keep you waiting.
What is the narcissist’s/abuser’s waiting game?
The waiting game is nothing new, but to keep someone waiting for you on purpose. It means to delay or make someone wait for an indefinite period of time before meeting them, performing an action, or doing some activity. Sometimes this can be unintentional, but for narcissists/abusers; is most of the time intentional or on purpose.
They like when someone waits for them, or they just like the feeling of making someone wait for them. In ninety percent of instances keeping someone waiting is international for narcissists/abusers and only in ten percent of instances it can be genuine or unintentional. Making someone wait for them can give the narcissists/abusers some sort of satisfaction or delight, but for the person who is waiting this waiting period can be frustrating and inconvenient.
Why do Narcissists constantly keep you waiting?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health disorder, where a person has a boosted sense of self, where they only consider their own self to be important and need constant admiration, adoration, control, and attention. They constantly have the need to manipulate others for their own good and lack empathy for others. Narcissists often engage in behaviors that create a sense of power and control over others.
If you have ever been with a narcissist in any kind of relationship, then you might be well aware of the fact that they make you wait and how frustrating the complete situation gets for you. It becomes a real vex situation when the narcissist/abuser keeps you waiting. Whether it is waiting for them to show up for a dinner/lunch date, waiting for their text reply, or answering back to a phone call, a narcissist would not hesitate to seek pleasure in making others wait. But why do they do this? What are some real reasons behind their constant tardiness?
One of the most common traits of a narcissist is their tendency to consistently keep other people waiting. Whether it is showing up late for parties, meetings, or get-to-gathers, consistently rescheduling plans, or simply delaying responses to texts or calls, this behavior can be frustrating for those around them.
So to know the real reason why a narcissist behaves in this manner, it is important to first understand a narcissist’s/abuser’s motivations and mindset. Narcissists view themselves as superior to others and tend to prioritize their own needs and desires above everything else. They often lack the ability to prioritize other peoples’ time commitments and are happiest when they are in control of the situation.
Narcissists like to appeal to their dominance and power over others to keep them waiting as a show of dominance. They may feel that by making someone wait, they are exerting control over that person and that this behavior demonstrates their superiority. Narcissists may also use this behavior as a means to punish others, particularly if they feel as though they have been disrespected in some or the other way.
In some cases, this behavior of the narcissist may develop a desire for attention or constant validation from others. Narcissists generally thrive on admiration and may use this time-related waiting game tactic to elicit more attention from others around them. By keeping people waiting, they are able to draw out a strong reaction, which can help to feed their egos and give them a sense of control and power.
Regardless of the underlying motivation, it is important to note that this behavior can be damaging to relationships and can cause significant emotional distress for those who are impacted by it. Individuals who are consistently kept waiting may feel disrespected, devalued, frustrated, and ignored. This can negatively impact their overall well-being over time.
Reasons why narcissists/abusers keep you waiting
There are a few reasons why narcissists/abusers keep you waiting, which are discussed below,
Narcissists/abusers consider their time to be more valuable than others, hence they may hardly prioritize being on time for meeting people that they feel are unimportant for them or are less valuable than them.
Keeping someone waiting can be a superlative move to assert or establish power and dominance over others/situations; which a narcissist believes blindly. Thus making it clearly indicating that the narcissist’s needs and time are more important than other people whom they are meeting.
Narcissists believe that keeping someone waiting can be a form of control and manipulation. They may use this tactic as a way to test how much the other person with whom they associating are willing to tolerate and how important is the narcissists’ time according to the other person.
When a narcissist wishes to teach the other person a lesson, regarding some past mistake then they might opt to play the waiting game with you. Because doing so may create a sense of uncertainty in the other person, causing self-doubt and a decrease in self-worth for others.
Narcissists usually lack consideration for others. They may hardly recognize the negative impact caused by them by keeping others waiting. They hardly care about others, which makes them so inconsiderate towards others.
By keeping someone waiting, a narcissist/abuser wishes to establish anxiety or discomfort in the person, making them doubt the uncertainty of the waiting period.
To make someone go through the guilt trip by making them wait. In the case of covert narcissists, they are sometimes unable to express that they are upset with someone, thus they would take their revenge by keeping others waiting on purpose.
Narcissists/abusers sometimes intentionally disrupt a person’s day or schedule, as a form of sabotage or retaliation.
And last but not least, a narcissist considers everyone else less important or valuable than themselves, thus they simply do not value the other person’s time or their needs.
At times, when a narcissist genuinely gets late, then too they would not be apologetic, rather they would consider this as an entitlement to keep others waiting for them, as they think that they are great and more valuable than everybody else.
How should you react when someone; especially a narcissist/abuser consistently keeps you waiting?
It becomes important to react or at least show some kind of counter-action or reaction when someone consistently keeps you waiting at least for your self-respect and self-esteem. Here below, some ways are mentioned have been mentioned through which you can know, how should you react when someone; especially a narcissist/abuser consistently keeps you waiting.
If you find yourself consistently waiting either out of habit or a kind of fear, then the first step is to set boundaries and express your concerns to them.
Make it clear that your time is also valuable hence you expect some respect from the narcissist/abuser for the commitments and not take your availability for granted.
In some cases, it may also become very much important to reaccess the relationship along with re-evaluating it based on such typical repetitive behavioral patterns.
Here it also becomes important to consider whether it is worth continuing and investing your time, presence, and energy into such a relationship where you are continuously and consistently being disregarded and your feelings are totally being ignored.
What should you do when someone keeps you waiting?
To be precise, the answer to this question mainly depends on the situation and the person who keeps you waiting. In some cases, you need to be patient in order to save the relationship from falling apart, while in some cases, where such behavior has become a pattern and a habit of abuse, then it should not be tolerated with respect to your self-respect and self-esteem.
If waiting for someone feels like a manipulative tactic, you should immediately discuss it with the person who is keeping you waiting as your time, energy, and presence matter in the relationship. It is okay to wait for someone occasionally, but when this becomes a toxic repetitive cycle, immediately step up and step out of such repetitive abuse patterns.
There may be a variety of reasons that a narcissist may keep you waiting for unpredictable times. Like, during meetings, on a lunch/dinner date, to show up as a part of the commitment, to text back or answer back a call, or showing up at simple casual meetups. The narcissist would keep you waiting to show dominance, power, and control. They may also do this as a part of punishment for someone, or also as an attempt to gain validation.
Thus the conclusion here is, it becomes important to take the time to fully understand and address the underlying behavior pattern of keeping someone waiting just to seek pleasure so that it becomes possible to create a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with one another. Here it also becomes important to consider whether it is worth continuing and investing your time, presence, and energy into such a relationship where you are continuously and consistently being disregarded and your feelings are totally being ignored.
Always remember, your time is as valuable, important, and worthy as that of others, and it is also important to engage with people who also value, respect, and take your time and presence seriously in their life.
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