How to Safely End Your Relationship with A Narcissist Or Partner?
How to safely end your Relationship with a Narcissist or Partner? Thinking about breaking up with a narcissist, but worried about the consequences? Then you have arrived at the correct destination as this article is all about knowing a few ideas regarding the topic, “How to safely end your Relationship with a Narcissist or Partner? In order to know more please keep reading further through the article.
Breaking up with a narcissist can be extremely tough, nerve-wracking, and emotionally draining. If you are in a toxic relationship where your partner is a narcissist, then it becomes extremely important to prioritize your own emotional and mental well-being. Breaking up with a narcissist can be challenging as they often try to manipulate or guilt-trip their partner into staying. So it becomes extremely important to have a thorough break up with a narcissist with a proper closure.
Narcissists tend to have a hold over situations, people (relationships), and most of the parts of their life happenings. They tend to be the elephant in the room with their controlling personalities, abusive nature, and urge to gain the maximum from everyone. Dating a narcissist is very puzzling as you cannot figure at what stage you are at while dating them. You cannot put all pieces of a puzzle together while dating a narcissist as their behavior is different every time you try to approach them.
When someone breaks up with a narcissist, the narcissist may try to manipulate the situation to make the other person feel guilty and can also forcefully convince them to change their minds. Narcissists can try to gaslight, manipulate or change their partner’s thought process and also convince them to continue the abusive relationship.
How to safely end your Relationship with a Narcissist or Partner?
Breaking up or ending things with a narcissist might include chaos, a lot of manipulation, and criticism, and ultimately it can be a pretty tricky process. So to retain your peace of mind, here are a few successful ways to end things that can also save you a lot of time, drama, and manipulation. So here are a few simple ways to break up with a narcissist safely.
Ending a relationship with a narcissist can be a challenging process that requires planning and caution. Narcissistic individuals often exhibit toxic behavior such as gaslighting, manipulation, emotional abuse, and everlasting trauma, which can make it difficult for their partners to leave. Therefore it becomes extremely important to leave the relationship safely and plan a careful exit from the toxic relationship. For doing this it requires proper planning along with the ways that help you prioritize your own emotional, mental, and physical well-being.
Here are some tips on how to end a relationship with a narcissist safely;
Knowing more about Narcissism by educating yourself on the same
The first step to ending a relationship with a narcissist safely is to educate yourself about the mental health disorder, “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”. Knowing more about Narcissism can help you understand your NPD individuals or anybody with NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) better. This is the best and utmost way to cope with a narcissistic person. This way you can find ways to deal with a narcissist while you wish to break up.
Reading articles, books, blogs or any piece of article that is relatable to narcissism can help in learning and framing the strategies that would help in the process of breaking up with a narcissist. Knowing more about narcissism will help you to recognize their abuse pattern, their behavioral tactics, and their next move. By doing this you can avoid being caught up in the cycle of abuse and manipulation once again.
Plan and prepare your exit well and in advanced
Prepping up a little in advance always makes the work easier and this also applies to breaking up. Try making a draft of what you have to say to them before approaching the narcissist regarding the breakup. Also, you can seek help from the internet for what you have to say or even consult a friend. Also, go through the draft thoroughly before finally approaching the narcissist to avoid any misunderstandings or misjudgments. To make the breakup less intense, try not to include unnecessary information just because you are in an emotionally hurt phase. This might simply prove that you may still need the narcissist, and the narcissist might not leave any chance to get back together with you.
Before initiating the breakup plan with your narcissistic partner, it becomes essential to have a well-thought and carefully crafted plan. This plan should consider your safety and your possessions. The plan should be practically possible with fathomable steps. The plan should also include managing a safe stay, with ways to protect important documents and financial condition. Also, one important point here is, to keep your plan as discreet as possible because if a narcissist finds out then your plan would cease to exist even. Make sure at least your trusted people like friends and family know about this plan and do not hesitate to involve them in the plan if you feel so.
Focus on the “Whys” or the reasons for breaking up
Before you break up with a narcissist, it is important to prepare yourself well in advance. You must initiate the breakup with a clear understanding of the whys and whats of the breakup process. Understand thoroughly all the reasons and consequences of breaking up with the narcissist. This step is very important because if you do not fully understand your reasons for breaking up, a narcissist will try to talk you out of it or manipulate you into staying. So take some time to reflect on the relationship and make a list of all the reasons why it is not working out.
Another important step in dealing with a narcissist while breaking up is to set up clear and firm boundaries. This means being clear about what you will and will not tolerate from the narcissist. It is important to communicate these boundaries clearly, both verbally and in writing, and to stick to them consistently.
The first step is taking your power back by setting boundaries. Narcissists can be demanding and take up a lot of your time and energy. Setting boundaries helps you protect your time, space, and mental health. Setting boundaries means defining what sort of behaviors are acceptable, and what actions are not acceptable, and making it clear what all practices are acceptable and unacceptable. Narcissists tend to cross boundaries frequently. Being firm and assertive about your limits and holding them accountable if they violate them is also one of the best to set boundaries. You can save yourself from the narcissist blaming you to be a narcissist by holding up your guard by making firm boundaries.
Be prepared to face Escalation in their manipulative behavior
When you try to leave a narcissist, they may escalate their manipulative behavior and try to drag you on a guilt trip to make you stay with them. They may try to scare you by telling all tell tales and stories of a future where they are not with you and how difficult it can be. But in reality, do not be afraid to leave them as those scenes and stories that they try to use to manipulate are actually all vague and your future would definitely be better without them.
They may also choose anger and frustration to frighten you. And this is the reason why it becomes crucial to have a solid support system in place, which may include family members, friends, therapists, or anyone you could trust with. Having a strong support system may save you from all the manipulation that a narcissist might use to make you stay longer.
Be clear and firm about your decision
When you decide to break up with your narcissistic partner, be clear and firm in your decision. Do not sugarcoat things or leave room for any doubt. Make it very very clear to the narcissist and also to yourself that the relationship is indeed over and try to move on as soon as possible. Try to avoid getting into arguments or engaging in long discussions about your reasons for leaving. Stay focused on your goals, and do not let your partner manipulate the situation.
Staying calm and composed
Break-ups can be difficult and may also include emotional turmoil and drama. Narcissists always wish to provoke a reaction out of you, so refusing to engage in an argument or confrontation can be an effective way to avoid giving them attention. Not engaging in any kind of drama, arguments, discussions or disagreements may subtle down the situation. Responding in a non-emotional and calm way and showing them that their behavior is not going to affect you, may save you from all the drama and trauma.
Before reacting to anything, take a deep breath and try to calm yourself down. This will give you time to think and respond rather than reacting impulsively.
Narcissists have a knack for provoking people and drawing them into a defensive argument. Try to stay calm and rational as much as possible. Do not take the bait or get caught in a blame-shifting or victim-blaming game. Keep your emotions in control when dealing with a narcissist. It is important to remain calm and composed during the conversations.
What to expect or do after breaking up with the narcissist?
Narcissists would not sit still and do nothing when you implement the break-up. Narcissists try to hoover around their exes or anyone ghosting them and victimize them again, as they cannot let go easily. It can be really difficult to break up or ghost a narcissist as they can blackmail you, take revenge, or hoover around for a long period of time. They do this because they do not want to lose control over their source of supply. And also it is always difficult to date a narcissist due to their anger issues and unhealthy behavior so they have to be dependent on a lot of people to get their supply.
So they would be finding ways to either get back at you for leaving them abruptly or get together back with you after you text them about breaking up with them. So let us know some precautionary points to stay away from the narcissist after breaking up with them.
1. Block all means of communication or contact after breaking up
Going “No Contact” means going completely off contact or an off-reach approach with them be it by deleting or blocking them on social media, blocking their phone number, not visiting places that you expect them to be, or even going to extreme limits like switching your grocery stores, taking different metros, or avoiding any activity that you think you might bump into them. This ensures that you keep your distance from the narcissist.
To get rid of the narcissist without much of a hassle, the no-contact phase must stay implemented for a bare minimum of 60 days or more than that. This period is enough for both; for you to move on and for them to stop chasing and hoovering around you. This ensures your well-being both emotionally and mentally. Also, make sure to cut ties with your mutual friends, or at least try to stay away from social gatherings as the narcissist might try to find their way into your life through mutual friends, acquaintances, or even family members.
2. Try to seek support from friends and family after the breakup
Being alone in such a phase is risky and not good for your mental health also, as you would be healing from all the trauma that the narcissist had put you through. So do hesitate to reach out to friends and family for emotional support and also join some prayer groups, visit any worship place, if you are a believer, or join some communities or therapy groups that help in healing and dealing with trauma.
3. Be prepared for a reaction from the narcissist
Narcissists generally do not take breakups very well. They will try to spin the situation to make you look bad. They might even become angry or try to guilt trip you into staying. Be prepared for any reaction and stay true to your decision. Do not fall for their tactics and do not allow them to manipulate you into staying in a relationship that is not working.
It is obvious that the narcissist would not sit still knowing that you are breaking up, and they would try by all means to get you back. They would try to contact you from somebody else’s phone, they might visit places that you both used to visit, they might try to influence your family members to develop contact with you, and they might even scare you for financial matters, but do not get swayed and stick to your decision. Even handle your financial accounts, so that they cannot threaten to forfeit your money through your joint accounts.
4. Follow up through
Once you have sent the text message, it is important to follow through with your decision. Do not allow the narcissist to love-bomb you back into the relationship. Stick to your ideas and move forward with your life. Remember that you made this decision for a reason, and sticking to it will be the best thing for you in the long run.
5. Not falling for their tricks like hoovering, chasing, or reappearing
Narcissists try to hoover around their exes or anyone ghosting them and victimize them again, as they cannot let go easily. It can be really difficult to break up or ghost a narcissist as they can blackmail you, take revenge, or hoover around for a long period of time. They do this because they do not want to lose control over their source of supply. And also it is always difficult to date a narcissist due to their anger issues and unhealthy behavior so they have to be dependent on a lot of people to get their supply.
Hoovering is always intended for the emotional ex-partner that a narcissist tries to regain. It is the vulnerabilities that the narcissist takes advantage of. They would try to remind you of them by their glimpses and presence.
Narcissists are experts at getting revenge. When you try to go no contact with them, they would find the means to hurt you. They would be so worked up about them losing their grip and control of you that they might affirmatively seek revenge. They can try to make you jealous by immediately finding a new partner and showing you that they have already moved past you.
There are many ways to reappear that they can resort to, they might lure you by making you vulnerable for physical intimacy, they would send you presents like flowers, chocolates, or anything dear to you to remind you that they still care for you or they would wait for their chance until your anger melts and you give up the no contact thing.
6. Take time to work on yourself after the breakup
Emotional, Mental, and physical Healing becomes very important when you depart ways with a narcissist. A narcissistic relationship tends to deteriorate your mental, physical, and emotional health along with decreasing your confidence, willpower to live, and the simple joys of life.
Try to give yourself time to heal yourself after all the manipulation, trauma, and abuse. Here below are some signs that you are healing from a breakup,
- You look happy and healthy
- You can reminiscence your good old habits
- You start enjoying your own company and your attitude toward life changes
- Your life starts seeming carefree
- You become more confident with life
- Physical and mental health issues tend to disappear
- You start feeling all the emotions
In summing up this article, it is recommended for the readers that they should carefully plan their exit from the toxic relationship with the narcissist. Ending a relationship with a narcissist requires careful planning, boundaries, and support. Remember that you deserve to be in a healthy, respectful relationship, and do not let anyone convince you otherwise.
Do not always expect a mature breakup or even a satisfactory closure while ending things with a narcissist.
Yes! Breaking up with a narcissist can be a cynical and delusional act, but once you are out there is no going back.
Trust yourself and all the beautiful emotions that you have regained after breaking up with a narcissist.